Deep Inside he Cried
by moon-dragon3
Summary: Harry is abused by the Dursleys but won't tell anyone. Snape helps him. Finished! Please Read and Rate!
1. The Summer Holidays

The summer had been bad. Worse than any he could remember. This summer, the belt had been brought forth. He should have guessed that returning to Number 4, Privet Drive was a serious misjudgement, but where else could he go? Harry Potter, saviour of the wizarding world, had to be accounted for everywhere and every day. Harry Potter, it had been decided, was going to save the wizarding world again. And Harry Potter, though very few people knew it, was not at all happy about this decision.  
  
**************************  
  
Harry sighed and looked out of his bedroom window. Bedroom! Broom cupboard. It seemed like a really unfair irony that a nearly fully fledged wizard could be contained in a cupboard. All he had to do with his summers normally was to dream up spells to a)knock down his door with the maximum noise and magic and b) turn his only living relatives into a mouse, cat and dog respectively. However, he feared that in doing so he would create the worlds largest rat in his seriously overweight cousin Dudley. So, for the last 3 summers, Harry Potter, saviour of the wizarding world, had been unhappily staring at the chink of light shining through his cupboard door.  
  
What a great holiday.  
  
**************************  
  
In truth, this was all Fred and George's fault. The ton-tongue toffee idea had been brilliant and hilarious, but very very painful on Harry's behalf. He'd never been beaten before, other than a few knocks from Dudley and his gang. But this year, everything seemed to be his fault. It started with a cuff around the ear, worked onto a violent push, and then.the kicking, the punching, the name calling.it seemed that Dumbledore had informed the Dursleys of what had happened that summer with Cedric. They never tired of tormenting him over it, calling him a failure, a murderer, a waste of space - names that shouldn't have hurt him, but they did. Right now, The Boy Who Lived was wishing he didn't. His head hurt, his arm hurt, he was fairly sure he had a broken rib or two, and some of the cuts on his back were infected. Everything hurt. All week he had been violently sick, probably due to lack of sleep. And tomorrow, he had to go to Hogwarts for the sole purpose of being tortured and mocked day in and out by Malfoy, Snape and the Slytherins, idolised by Ron and most of the Gryffindors and sniped at by McGonagall and Hermione for not working hard enough. And bloody hell, he had to figure out to hide the mess that was his face soon. Harry lay back against the bloodstreaked wall and groaned softly. Footsteps came up the stairs, spelling out one word over and over again - pain, pain, pain. Vernon Dursley, a piggy grin on his face, entered the room. This one was gonna hurt. 


	2. Back to Hogwarts

Harry groaned. He had had to steal money to get to London to catch the train. He had also had to steal some of his Aunt's makeup, and now felt completely and utterly STUPID.  
  
Being a guy, he wasn't really used to the mechanics of makeup. Thick wads of orange foundation clung to his papery skin. The sooner he got on the express and did a concealing charm, the better. Thankfully Harry was late and sneaked onto the train on the opposite end to where Ron and Hermione normally were. Just when he was thinking he could make a clean escape to the bathroom and wash that damned makeup off, a voice drawled unmistakably from behind. "The great saviour has returned" Harry was about to turn around when spots started dancing in front of his eyes. *ok, this is not good mate, c'mon, moving now before you share your breakfast - oh wait, you didn't have any - with Draco would be a verrrrrry good idea.* With a groan, he clamped his hand over his mouth and dived for the toilet. Had he looked behind him he would have been astonished. Draco's face was screwed up in curiosity, and as he watched Harry slam the door behind him and retch, he actually looked.worried?  
  
Ten minutes later, Harry emerged from the bathroom looking just like normal. Draco slid silently into the bathroom and inspected the mess. The smell of vomit was as clear as that of blood, and overwhelming pain that made Draco stagger backwards. Discarded tissues with some very weird orange gunk lay in the bin. What a mystery.  
  
Harry meanwhile had reached the carriage where Ron and Hermione were looking anxious. As soon as he entered the carriage Hermione flung herself at him, not noticing his agonised gasp. Harry tried not to yell but it was hard, so hard. He just wanted everything to go away. The witch with the trolley came around later but Harry didn't get anything. Ron looked at him curiously. "Harry.what's up, mate? You normally cram your face!" "Uh.I don't have any money" muttered Harry.then it occurred to him he had no books for this year. Wouldn't Snape just love that. His thoughts were dragged back to the present as Ron glowered at him. "Oh, poor little saviour of the wizarding world! You do'n't have any money? Well guess what, neither do lots of people. Don't go looking all sulky at me just because you've frittered away your dead parents fortune on a load of shit. I would do anything for your fortune!" Harry gaped at Ron, before his friends words sunk in. He stared at Ron for a long minute before drawing his wand. "Felinisitus" he muttered, then stormed out of the carriage. Behind him, Ron hissed and spat, hisfurry black tail twitching. It only took Hermione a few seconds to repair but Ron was livid. And Hermione was furious too. Harry hadn't replied to a single letter that holiday and now he was acting as though nothing was wrong! And cursing a student, on the train.that was just unforgivable.  
  
By the time they reached Hogwarts barely any of the Gryffindors were speaking to Harry. The rumours had spread of their fight and most took Ron's side.  
  
Harry attended the feast but left straight away. Nobody saw him again that night.  
  
Truthfully, he couldn't face the thought of food. He wanted to disappear - he felt like he was too fat to be allowed, he overshadowed everyone. The idea of letting food slide down his throat made him gag. He also couldn't face the Gryffindors that night. They'd ignore him, they hated him, theyd mock him for the angry red marks on his arms which he hadn't concealed because.they reminded him that he was alive, that he was real. And now he had to make some more.  
  
Snape prowled the corridors. He could sense someone's pain.probably some broken hearted member of the bloody Potter Fan Club.speaking of which, where was the insufferable little git? He hadn't seen him at the feast. He heard a dry, cracked sobbing coming from the prefects bathroom and wondered if he should investigate. Then was the sound of retching, and gasping.Snape suddenly had a very bad feeling. He pulled open the door. It was dark. As the lights turned on, he scanned the room, thought he felt something on his cheek.but there was nothing. He looked in the bath and showers, underneath the towels, but there was nothing. Then in the corner, he saw something. An empty box of chocolate frogs, and a small pool of blood. Wrinkling his brow, he stepped back. Who on earth could it be? So many students could perform invisibility charms or had cloaks like James damn Potters.  
  
Harry didn't sleep that night. He looked at himself in the mirror. Dry, cracked lips, greyish skin. His breath smelled like vomit. He quickly cast charms back on his face to hide the bruising, and a mint fresh charm to keep his breath ok. Then, pulling a long sleeved t-shirt on, he went downstairs to face the Gryffindors at breakfast. 


	3. The First Meal

Silence. Resounding silence, the worst kind of silence you could imagine. Ok, so resounding silence really shouldn't be so scary for a boy who had faced down Voldemort several times, but hey, we all have our weaknesses. For Harry, this lack of love stung like the Cruciatus. The eyes of the Gyrffindors followed him down the table. As he went to sit at the far end, pavarti shuffled up a bit, leaving him no room. Everywhere he looked, his once-friends were spreading out so as to fill the whole table. The acrid stench of hurt radiated from him. Snape felt it.  
  
Wizards have many charms on their lives, but one definite curse was the ability to smell human emotions. The stronger and more painful the emotion, the stronger the smell. And the smell radiating from Harry.no, Potter. Potter! Was not a happy one.  
  
Harry quickly made his way out of the hall. He didn't want to eat anyway. The feeling yesterday that he had felt after the chocolate frogs was.indescribable.he felt empty and full at the same time. He wanted to feel like that again. And, he wanted to lose weight. Ok, so constantly being sick probably wasn't a long term plan, but with Voldemort on his tail, who needed to think long term?  
  
He curled up on his bed in the dorm. Someone had hexed it so it tilted but it didn't take long to break the curse. Feeling the ridges along his arm, feeling the hunger gnawing in his stomach.his eyes filled with tears, and for a moment he considered apologising to Ron and making everything go back to normal.but then he regained his sense, the tears vanished. He pulled himself awake and was on his way out of the room when something crashed into him. Unable to stop himself, he let out a yelp. "Watch it, will you?" snapped Dean, pushing past Harry. Then, faintly, under his breath, "We're entrusting our lives to some halfwit who squeals like a girl. Fan- bloody-tastic." Harry flushed. "If you want, you go look out Voldemort. I'm sure you'll do a better job than me." "At least I don't have any blood on my hands!" Harry looked at him, puzzled for a moment. "You killed Cedric Diggory," Hissed Dean. "You murderer. You are no Gryffindor." The words cut deep into him.cut..cut.deep. The door slammed behind harry as he raced downstairs, trying not to sob. Reaching the prefects bathroom, he locked the door behind him and slashed crazily at his arm. Not death, no, he couldn't die, he couldn't turn away from Cedric's memory, he just had to remember the pain he'd caused everyone, all his fault, ow ow ow, so much pain.  
  
*************  
  
He was late to potions. His charms had to be redone. Snape took 20 points off Gryffindor and the disgust of Harry's classmates was clearly tangible in the moist air. Snape looked oddly at Harry. Why was the boy not being worshipped like normal? Why were none of his friends speaking to him? What was going on?  
  
********************  
  
Harry couldn't face food or loneliness that night. But soon his stomach was growling loudly and, knowing he shouldn't, he summoned Dobby from the kitchens to bring him some dinner. Dobby, of course, disappeared with a crack and returned moments later with a tray full of delicious food. Every mouthful went down, he was practically inhaling his food - then suddenly he stopped, realising how stupid this was. He would get so fat, so horrible, and he wouldn't be able to disappear and hide from everyone.and before he knew what was happening he was in the bathroom, and retching up all the food. He weakly cast a charm on his mouth to make his breath pleasant and fell asleep for the first time in nearly 2 weeks.  
  
He woke up about 20 minutes later to muffled sniggers and a very very unpleasant feeling in the bottom of his stomach. He realised with horror he'd been hit by a extratus curse. The curse basically made the bearer feel double the pain in a physical sense. And with Vernon's most recent beating still causing an awful lot of pain, that was not good. He bit through his lip, trying not to scream, as the chuckles of his roommates got louder and louder until he felt like he was drowning.he thought he blacked out a few times before he stumbled to his feet and ran to the bathroom, throwing up bile. He heard the laughs die down and the boys go to bed.  
  
Taking his invisibility cloak with him, he stumbled down the corridor, just wanting to be alone. The concealing charms had worn off on his face but he was too tired to care. Too tired to do anything.except curl up in this corner here, and go to sleep, and.let pain spasm through every fibre of his body. Then he knew what he had to do. A potion Snape had mentioned, to deaden pain.  
  
It only took minutes to get down to the dungeons normally, but Harry could only hobble and it took him a good quarter of an hour. He gently opened the unlocked door, trying not to stumble with the pain, and eased his way over to the cupboard where Snape kept his potions. He unlocked it with a simple alohomora, unable to believe that Snape would leave his potions unattended and unguarded. Then a voice spoke out, "Expelliarmus!" The potion and wand flew from Harry's hand, and he turned slowly to face Snape. "Mr Potter. Again. You might be interested to know I have charmed my doors to recognise you? I thought it would be prudent. And look what we have here." Harry squirmed uncomfortably. "Well well Mr Potter. I feel that although you are in enough trouble, staying hidden will hardly help anything. Remove the cloak, please." Harry fidgeted. Could he make a run for it? No chance. And imagine the joy on Snape's face if he saw what harry had let them do to him. "Take off the cloak." 


	4. Discovered

'Take off the cloak"  
  
Harry's mouth went dry and he swallowed trying frantically to clear it. Snape was looking directly at him, and he had no chance of running for it. Whatever charms Snape had were showing him where Harry was.  
  
Feeling violently ill, Harry raised his hands to take off the cloak. As he did so, Snape lowered his wand..just a fraction.and summoning all the power Harry had, he yelled 'Accio wand!'. His wand flew from Snape's other hand and hit Harry's palm.  
  
*Ok, ok, I have my wand. I must be able to do something now!*  
  
Snape looked at Harry with a slightly amused expression, which immediately gave Harry a very very bad feeling.  
  
"How brave," sneered Snape. "How.Gryffindor"  
  
The way the shadow of Harry flinched shocked him (the charm showed the shadow of the intruder). Why should the boy be so afraid of the mention of Gryffindor?  
  
Snape picked up the bottle in his hand. Pain killing lotion, basically, though it had some interesting side effects. Like, green hair and warts. Typical of Potter not to listen in class.  
  
Suddenly the shadow waved it's wand slightly at itself. Snape started; he was out of practice.  
  
"What are you doing Potter?" he asked with a tone of bored resignation. "And why, why Mr Potter, are you incapable of following one simple command to TAKE OFF THAT BLOODY CLOAK!"  
  
The shadow shifted uncomfortably for a moment before finally morphing into the annoying shape of Harry Potter.  
  
Snape smirked, and Harry tried to stop his relief from showing. He had just managed to cast the concealing charm while Snape's mind was wandering. Ok, so he would probably be expelled, but nobody would ever know what had happened to him at the Dursleys.  
  
However he couldn't help wishing he could still have the potion he'd stolen. He was seeing spots in front of his eyes and it wasn't a nice sensation.  
  
Harry had often thought Snape could read minds, and this time seemed to be no different. "Would you like that potion you so bravely came into my office for?"  
  
Harry gulped. His whole mind was willing him to say no, no, no.but the word that came out was "Yes"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Sorry?"  
  
"Why do you need the potion?"  
  
"ummm.headache."  
  
"I see. And I presume there is a very good reason you didn't go and see Madam Pomfrey for a headache cure?"  
  
"Ummm."  
  
Snape smirked. Oh merlin, this would be fun. He held out the vial and the boy took it, suspicious. Desperation overcame Harry and he downed the mixture in one gulp. The pain faded to a dull ache and he inadvertently let out a small sigh of relief. Then he looked at Snape.  
  
The Potions master was looking at him oddly. Oddly.like he had at the duelling club when harry had spoken to the snake. Harry really didn't like the look.  
  
*****************  
  
Snape was stunned. Where was the green hair? Where were the warts? Why was Potter swaying? What the hell was going on? It must be a mistake. No, he was Severus Snape, potions master. It was just impossible that he could have botched a potion, especially one so simple as this. Impossible.unless.a concealing charm!  
  
"Finite Incatatem!"  
  
Harry let out an anguished scream and fell to the ground. The world spun before Snape, looking in horror at the boy.  
  
"Stop it, please stop it, stop it, make it go away!" The boy's shrieks pieced the stupor Snape had fallen in and he jerked into action, grabbing a vial of the strongest painkiller he could find. He forced it down Harry's throat and crouched down by him, waiting for him to wake up from the temporary coma the potion induced.  
  
As he did so, he had a horribly good opportunity to see the extent of Potter's state. His face was varying shades of yellow, blue, green and purple, with a slash running down his left cheek. His cheekbone jutted out from the papery skin, and his bottom lip was swollen and sore. The remaining skin on his face uncovered by bruises was chalk white and drawn in pain.  
  
His arm lay at an awkward angle, and the robes swamped his unnaturally skinny body.  
  
Snape sighed and rubbed his nose absently. Of all the students.to find Harry like this.but honestly, how could nobody have ever noticed? What the hell should he do? This shouldn't be his problem. He was the head of Slytherin, Harry was Gryffindor's star student.  
  
"What a fucking mess" muttered Snape to himself.  
  
There was a groan from his side and Harry looked up with unfocussed eyes which immediately hardened.  
  
"You bastard! Why the hell can't you just leave me alone? Why did you have to hurt me again? Why?" Snape gaped like a fish out of water.  
  
"Look, I'm ok, I'm going to heal.I don't need any of this shit, just because I got caught up in a street fight doesn't mean I'm stupid and reckless and whatever else you want to call me. I can take care of myself without your stupid charms and.owwww!!."  
  
Snape continued gaping as Harry straightened up, recast the glamour spell and slammed his way out of the door, his robes billowing menacingly in the candlelight, pausing only to shoot him a final evil glare. The message that if anyone else found out Snape would be very sorry was clear.  
  
And, much as he hated to admit it, Snape was a little afraid.  
  
*********************  
  
Harry leaned against a wall, trying to catch his breath. His ribs hurt. But not as badly as they had been. And he really never knew he was such a good actor. This was ok. Snape had obviously believed him Everything would be ok now.  
  
As long as he could get up to his tower without fainting.  
  
*************************  
  
Snape was sitting in the same place on the floor twenty minutes later before he finally snapped out of his daze.  
  
*Just a street fight. No need to tell Dumbledore. But bloody hell, never seen him so angry. Never seen anyone that angry.*  
  
He got up, and looked at the bottle on his desk.  
  
The thought of Harry disturbed him. Even as a Death Eater, he hadn't seen anyone so ill and battered. Some street fight, he thought, grateful not for the first time that he had grown up in a wizarding family.  
  
******************************  
  
Covered by the invisibility cloak, Harry made his way up the stairs towards his dorm. It was cold and his legs felt heavy. Maybe he could just sit down here.and rest a little.just for a moment.  
  
And everything faded to black. 


	5. In The Middle Of The Night

Snape couldn't sleep.  
  
Well, he hadn't really slept since joining the Death Eaters, and in truth it was quite useful to be able to stay up as long as he wanted. Due to a potion all Death Eaters took, sleep was a luxury rather than a necessity. After all.Voldemort loved nothing more than an all night killing spree followed by a summoning precisely 10 minutes after his loyal servants had fallen asleep.  
  
But something felt wrong tonight. Something he couldn't place about Potter. Ok, so he probably was foolish enough to get involved in a street fight in muggle London, and doubtless those ridiculous muggles he lived with had encouraged his *bravery*.but it was the stench of pain and misery emitted from the shadow in his office that bothered.  
  
But..the boy was meant to be the saviour of the wizarding world, so it did make sense that it would look a bit stupid for him to have been beaten up by muggles. Rolling his eyes for even thinking Potter needed his help, Snape went back to marking exam scripts, but soon his mind was wandering again.  
  
He couldn't get the picture of Harry out of his mind, lying like dead on the stone floor..swishing out of the door with a harder glare than Snape himself could manage..something had changed about the boy over the summer..honestly, some of the crazy things muggles do, Snape thought. But then again, Harry was growing up. His relatives had undoubtedly coddled him to within an inch of his life, and here was the stupid boy being moody.  
  
This time, Snape carried on with his marking, pushing all thoughts of the boy out of his mind.  
  
*********************  
  
Draco couldn't sleep either. Something was nagging at the back of his mind. He pulled on the invisibility cloak that had been a gift from his father (anything Potter could have, so could Draco) and wandered through the cold corridors of the dungeon.  
  
As he wandered he thought. Thought about his final decision to inform Dumbledore of Voldemort's plan to break the spells cast on Hogwarts. Over the holidays Dumbledore had strengthened the defences and the attack had failed miserably, at least seven Death Eaters being turned in to the Ministry. Fudge had also dismissed the Dementors from Azkaban, doubtless scared of Dumbledore, and instead placed unbreakable charms on the doors.  
  
And he had saved Potter's life in destroying his fathers.  
  
So why didn't he feel remorse?  
  
He had lost everything.his father was rotting under the Ministry's care, his mother had disowned him. But Dumbledore and Snape were proud.and he had saved a life, maybe several. And he would never have to kill an innocent person.  
  
Draco's thoughts were interrupted as he tripped over something.  
  
"unngh..."  
  
"What the..Potter..What the HELL are you doing?"  
  
Harry squirmed under Draco's piercing silver gaze.  
  
"Umm.I was tired?"  
  
Draco looked at Harry shrewdly.  
  
"You need to get some rest. In a BED. You've heard of those in the muggle world? I daresay you had the softest and warmest one money could buy with those bloody muggles. I bet....  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
"Aww, poor ickle Potter. You homesick? You could never understand pain, Potter. You are so perfect.How do you think it feels to be placed under the Cruciatus, eh? It bloody well hurts Potter. Nobody deserves it, but people get it anyway and it's all because of you. All because of your bloody stupidity. All because of your damned bloody bravery, that's why my bloody father is rotting in some prison.."  
  
Harry only half listened. He was trying to figure out how to get together enough energy to punch Malfoy. Nearly, nearly, just a little more swing...  
  
#CRACK#  
  
"owwwwwwwww!" squealed Draco, sounding incredibly girlish.  
  
Then he kicked out sharply, foot connecting with one of Harry's broken ribs.  
  
The boy gave a slight grunt as the wind left him, and passed out again.  
  
Then Snape appeared, black robes billowing around him.  
  
*how does he do that?* wondered Draco. It was the last thing he wondered, as he suddenly realised he was lying next to an unconscious and VERY visible Potter in the hallway, invisibility cloak only draped over one of Draco's shoulders. And Snape seemed to be dragging him up by the scruff of his neck.  
  
"Explain, Mr Malfoy, why you are out in the middle of the night, wearing a forbidden invisibility cloak, making enough of a racket to wake the dead (just then the Bloody Baron drifted past looking annoyed) and WHY Mr Potter is lying unconscious nearby your extended left leg?"  
  
Draco gulped.  
  
Snape's face twisted into concern.  
  
"And what happened to your face?"  
  
"Potter..hit me..I tried to stop him, he just went crazy.."  
  
Snape's lip curled.  
  
"We're going to the headmaster," He hissed, "and you are going back to your dormitory. 2 points from Slytherin. I'm disappointed in you Draco."  
  
With that, he knelt next to Harry.  
  
"Enervate!"  
  
The piercing screams filled the hallway as Harry woke up. 


	6. In The Middle Of The Night II

IPain.  
  
Ow.  
  
Vernon? Voldemort? Malfoy?  
  
Ow.  
  
Malfoy.  
  
Bastard./I  
  
Harry groaned and looked up. Into the expressionless face of Snape - except it wasn't expressionless, it was....concerned?  
  
Seeing Malfoy's terrified face over Snape's shoulder, harry decided he had been hallucinating and shut his eyes, not bothering to fight the warm darkness that engulfed him.  
  
***************************  
  
When Malfoy had heard the screaming he had tuned back, shocked at the level of pain in the voice. Suddenly he thought of all the odd things he'd seen since the start of term - Potter on the train, wearing makeup, the Gryffindors ignoring him, his doziness , the anguished screaming as Snape knelt by his head, horrified - something was wrong, but what?  
  
Snape looked up and saw Malfoy.  
  
"Get Pomfrey." He said tersely.  
  
"But, sir, what about the headmaster?"  
  
"He'll be on his way already now get Pomfrey for Merlin's sake!"  
  
Draco hadn't seen Snape look so deranged for a long time. Well, not since the last potions lesson when Longbottom had melted yet another cauldron. He ran.  
  
Sure enough Dumbledore appeared through a hidden door almost the second Malfoy had disappeared from sight.  
  
"What on earth happened, Severus?"  
  
"Can't you feel it, the pain, Albus? I don't understand it. Something emotional is causing him a lot of pain."  
  
Dumbledore knelt next to Harry, hand on Harry's head.  
  
"Yes....I feel something....I think he's blocking me out though."  
  
"I sent Draco to get Poppy."  
  
"Thank you. I think we should set off to the Hospital Wing with him now. It will do the boy no good to be lying on the cold floor in his condition."  
  
Snape rolled his eyes. He hadn't missed Dumbledore's 'we'. And to be honest, he had nothing better to do.and it wasn't worth arguing with the old man. Snape would always lose.  
  
**********************************  
  
Harry opened his eyes. The pain was still there, but Dumbledore was sitting by his bed.  
  
His bed?  
  
Oh shit, not again. Bloody Hospital Wing.  
  
"How are you feeling, Harry?"  
  
Harry tried to make his voice steady. "Fine thank you, sir."  
  
A snort came from somewhere to his left but he ignored it.  
  
"You realise you were shrieking loudly enough to shake the foundations of this castle? That didn't sound like you were fine."  
  
Harry sighed, and put on his best traumatised expression, which wasn't too hard given that he was in the Hospital Wing and he had no idea why, and he had a horrible feeling Snape had something to do with it.  
  
"I - I think - I had a nightmare..." He let his lower lip wobble and Dumbledore looked sympathetic.  
  
"Oh dear. I think maybe you should have a dreamless sleep potion for the rest of the night, and maybe sleep through the first few lessons tomorrow. But, Harry, I must ask why you were out of bed tonight? You know the rules well by now."  
  
"I was on my way to the hospital wing for some dreamless sleep potion, but I didn't quite make it." lied Harry.  
  
"Via the dungeons?"  
  
Harry gulped silently. Of all the people who could make this situation worst, Snape was number 2 on the list. Right behind Voldemort.  
  
"Harry, I am quite disappointed in you, stealing from Professor Snape's personal stores. Normally the penalty would be expulsion, however I think you were delusional, perhaps sleepwalking at the time, so we will say no more about that. You will serve a detention with Professor Snape tomorrow night, and 20 points will be taken from Gryffindor. Goodnight Harry, and don't get up before you feel like it in the morning."  
  
And with that Dumbledore swept out of the room, followed by Snape, who shot Harry a final glare before he turned the corner.  
  
*******************************  
  
Snape was confused. Just before he had sent Draco away he had cast a revealing charm on Potter, and nothing had happened. The boy remained the same as he had been. When he had told Dumbledore what he had seen in the dungeons, Dumbledore had cast the most powerful revealing charms he knew to see what was wrong with harry, but nothing had shown up.  
  
Snape told himself he had just fallen asleep and had a very realistic dream. It had happened before, he had dreamt that Voldemort was torturing the Boy Who Lived. But now, for some reason, those thoughts didn't make Snape smile. He must be mellowing in his old age, he thought.  
  
*************************************  
  
Madam Pomfrey sent Harry back to his dorm with the dreamless sleep potion, and he fell asleep immediately.  
  
Unfortunately, there was a device in the corner of the Common Room which stated each House's points total, and also a log of points gained and lost by which student for which act. Harry's night time wander was now showing, and the Gryffindors weren't happy.  
  
Harry was woken too early. At 6.00am to be precise. He calculated that he had 3 hours sleep overall that night. But now the Gryffindors were bearing down on him, all looking livid. Thanks to Harry's lost points, Gryffindor were trailing Slytherin.  
  
And his ex-friends looked seriously pissed off.  
  
There was silence as they moved nearer and nearer, and Harry was furiously aware that he was shaking. Then the shouting started. Thankfully he didn't catch all of it.  
  
"Stupid asshole."  
  
"Lose the House Cup."  
  
"Liability."  
  
"Parents would be ashamed."  
  
"Ought to change houses."  
  
".Crazy.."  
  
Harry turned over, pinning the pillowcase over his head, trying to block out the nasty voices. But the pillow was set on fire, singing the back of his hair, which of course under the concealing charm didn't show any signs of burning.  
  
And then the most painful voice. Hermione's. The one person in Gryffindor who hadn't been hostile to him.  
  
"What a disgrace to Gryffindors"  
  
Harry's eyes filled with tears, and he stumbled out of the room to the jeers of the Gryffindors.  
  
He was completely alone now.  
  
  
  
  
  
**Guess what? Another chapter is going to be up tonight! Do I spoil you or what?** 


	7. It Even Gets Worse!

Harry hid under his invisibility cloak until the Gryffindors had gone to breakfast. He uncast the concealing charms which were very strong, hopefully strong enough to be unable to be uncast by anyone except himself, and looked at his gaunt face in the mirror.  
  
"Still not invisible," he whispered, "Still here, still making people ashamed."  
  
A few older boys were shaving and there were two razors in the bathroom. Harry drew one along his upper arm, sucking in his breath as the blood started flowing. There were advantages to being a wizard - he could at least cast a congealing spell to stop the blood flowing, but keep the pain. And that was exactly what he did.  
  
Still in his invisibility cloak, he tossed a handful of powder in the fireplace, and murmered "The kitchens". Dobby looked quizzically at him. Or rather, at the empty space where he should have been.  
  
"Hey Dobby, it's Harry. Can you bring up a little food to the Gryffindor dorms?"  
  
Three seconds later, the food was there. Harry had acted from experience, not thinking. But then the tray appeared and he suddenly felt hungry, so he ate. Too much. TOO MUCH! Creamy, rich, fatty, the food slid down his throat. And then the food slid back up, the back of Harry's fingers aching as he frantically tried to drag the food out of his throat. Exhausted, he slumped against the mirror, hitting his head. He stood, semi-unconscious, for about 5 minutes and then decided to go to his next lesson, after recasting the concealing spell.  
  
***************  
  
No Gryffindors would talk to him that day. After staying in the library throughout dinner, Harry stumbled upstairs, willing his leaden legs to keep moving. By some fluke he managed to get up to the Fat Lady and gasp out the password. "No."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Wrong password."  
  
"Umm....bravery?, courage, valour?"  
  
"No."  
  
Harry realised the Gryffindors must have changed the password and forgotten to tell him. Please, let them have forgotten to tell him. Lavender and Pavarti hurried past Harry, whispering the password so quietly that Harry couldn't hear it. He moved forward, calling  
  
"Um, sorry, but I don't have the pass."  
  
The portrait slammed in front of him to the muffled laughter of the two girls.  
  
Harry slumped against the wall, unable to stop the tears flowing down his face.  
  
It was nearly 10.00pm. If a teacher came past he would be in a lot of trouble. But - what the hell. They couldn't hate him any more, could they? So when the footsteps came, Harry didn't even move.  
  
"Potter."  
  
"Piss off."  
  
There was silence.  
  
"Harry."  
  
"Piss. Off."  
  
The footsteps came closer and a hand tilted Harry's chin up. Draco looked into Harry's red rimmed eyes and sighed.  
  
"Come with me."  
  
*********************************  
  
Harry had no idea how he got all the way down to the dungeons. He had no idea why either. For all he knew, it was some plot to deliver him to Voldemort. But, what did he have to lose? He followed Draco through a mournful grey landscape, into a room that was obviously Draco's own.  
  
"I betrayed Voldemort. It's not safe for me to be with the Slytherins anymore. Professor Snape and Dumbledore set me up with this room. To keep me safe."  
  
Harry nodded. He had guessed as much, from snippets of conversation overheard throughout the year, and Draco's rant last night.  
  
"So. Care to explain?"  
  
Harry looked stupidly at Draco.  
  
Draco elaborated.  
  
"Would you care to explain why you were sitting outside your common room crying, and why nobody in Gryffindor is speaking to you?"  
  
"No."  
  
Draco rolled his eyes.  
  
"I think you mistook that for a question."  
  
Harry simply glared.  
  
"Did you know my father put the Cruciatus on me at a Death Eaters meeting? It hurt like hell. I thought I was going to die. Now tell me what could be worse than the Cruciatus?"  
  
Harry looked at Draco, and kept staring. Eventually Draco turned away, white faced.  
  
"But - how can you know - what you suffered - could have been worse than the Cruciatus?"  
  
"Last Summer. I had the Cruciatus. Voldemorts rebirth."  
  
Draco was worried. Harry's pupils were dilated and he was quite pale. But the most worrying thing was that Draco had overheard Snape talking about the concealment charms. Positioning his wand behind his back, he muttered, "Finite Incantatem". Nothing happened. "Revelo". Nothing. And the bloody Boy Who Lived wouldn't talk. What the hell was going on here?  
  
"Well, if you're satisfied now I'm not a Death eater in disguise."  
  
"Pardon?"  
  
"The revealing charms. I'm not Ithat/I stupid."  
  
Draco swore under his breath.  
  
"I'll just be off then..."  
  
Harry got to his feet, lurched unsteadily, and yelled as Draco supported him. Holding him upright, the Slytherin looked into the pain filled eyes. Tears were starting to fall, and Draco couldn't remember Harry ever crying. He practically carried Harry to the green bed and laid him down.  
  
"Now what the hell is going on?"  
  
"My wand..."  
  
Against his better judgement, Draco handed him his wand. Harry muttered something under his breath and his face warped under Draco's terrified eyes, the boy he had known as an enemy for almost 5 years changing into someone else.  
  
But it wasn't someone else. It was Harry.  
  
"Draco...I think I need help - please, help me - and don't let Sirius or Dumbledore know - please Draco..."  
  
Draco was frozen to the spot. He had never seen anything so repulsive, so evil. What those muggles had done to Harry.  
  
Worse than the Cruciatus...worse, more painful, nastier, true hatred from all angles...  
  
Draco could taste Harry's pain, feel it in his bones. Levering his legs to life, he sprinted to the fireplace and threw in some powder.  
  
"Professor Snape!"  
  
The hook nosed face appeared, features twisting from annoyance to concern.  
  
"Draco, is everything ok?"  
  
"No! Get in here! I need you Sir!"  
  
Snape's head disappeared briefly and then he stepped out of the fireplace.  
  
"Draco, what the hell is...oh shit."  
  
He had seen Harry.  
  
"Sir, don't tell Dumbledore or Sirius. Sirius - who's Sirius? Oh shit. That innocent guy who has a real problem with Malfoys, oh god Sir don't let him hurt me..."  
  
Snape ignored Draco and glided over to where Harry had slipped out of consciousness again. Blood soaked through his robes and his breathing was ragged and wet sounding.  
  
The potions master shut his eyes, trying to feel where the pain was coming from. Everywhere, by the look of it.  
  
Trust the Potter boy.  
  
He peeled the robes of the boys back and had to fight the urge to retch. Harry's back was covered in bruises and welts in varying degrees of healing. Some had been recently opened, though Snape had no idea how. His ribs stuck out dangerously.  
  
"That was no street fight," he murmered to himself. "Damned Gryffindor bravery." 


	8. The Truth According To Draco

Snape turned to Draco, anger blazing in his eyes. Draco took an uneasy step back, and the wizard's face softened.  
  
"I'm not going to hurt you. Or anyone. Except whoever did this to Potter."  
  
Draco visibly relaxed.  
  
"Can you go through the fire and get me some bottles from my office? The password is Salazar. I need Crithia Potion, Monkshood salve and some Asphodel and Belladonna ointment."  
  
Draco nodded, and stepped into the fire.  
  
*************************  
  
As soon as he was gone, Snape allowed some of the anger and fear he was feeling steep though the his expression. The boy was in a bad way, and it was unlikely anyone except himself could heal Harry. But what really bothered him was the fact that nobody knew of this - that Harry had managed to keep it a secret, and that he had, even in this weakened state, managed to cast a concealing charm so powerful that Dumbledore himself could not break it.  
  
Snape was torn. On one hand, Draco had told him not to tell the Headmaster or Black - but surely his legal guardian and headmaster should be told? Of course, it had to be those dreadful relatives of Lily's who had done this, and so someone would have to be told before the next holidays - though, now Snape thought about it, Potter always stayed at Hogwarts in the holidays anyway. It was just a question of who told Dumbledore. The old man could tell Black - the flea-bitten canine would probably just begin hexing anyone and anything in sight anyway.  
  
Normally Snape would have just sent Malfoy up to the Hospital Wing with Potter and let the two boys and Pomfrey sort it out. But there was nothing Poppy could do for Harry. He was in a serious condition. Snape sighed. He really ought to tell Dumbledore now, in case the boy didn't survive the night: but if their positions had been reversed, Snape knew he wouldn't have wanted anyone to tell the Headmaster.  
  
His thoughts were distracted by Draco stumbling out of the fireplace carrying and armful of potions. Thankfully the right ones. At the same time the answer came to him.  
  
"Draco. I need you to do me another favour. Go to the staff room and bring Professor Lupin down here, please."  
  
Snape finished healing Harry's various cuts and bruises (or at least the most serious ones) about ten minutes later. Now all he could do was let the boy sleep.  
  
Malfoy came back alone.  
  
"The werewolf was out, sir."  
  
"Professor Lupin to you" reprimanded Snape.  
  
Malfoy sulked, but Snape ignored him, turning back to Harry.  
  
"What happened, Draco?"  
  
The blond boy sighed.  
  
"First of all, I heard him being sick on the train on the way here. I went into the bathroom when he had gone and there were tissues with makeup on them in the bin. I guess he used those because he couldn't do any magic until he got on the train.  
  
Then I saw everyone ignoring him at the table at dinner that evening. They wouldn't let him sit down. He left without eating. I think he was too scared to eat because he didn't want to be with his House any more than he had to.  
  
Then I heard his so called friends putting the Extratus curse on him. I, um, sort of charmed one of the mirrors so we could spy on the Gryffindors. He screamed like he was under the Cruciatus, passed out, then threw up. I guess it added to the effects of the pain he was already under. But I didn't really fit things together until the night when we fought."  
  
He trailed off into silence. Eventually Snape cleared his throat and Draco continued.  
  
"It was that night when you found us. I was walking along the corridor, just thinking. I tripped over him, and suddenly got really angry, I don't know why. I guess I was blaming my lack of family on him. I started yelling at him, insulting his parents. . ."  
  
Snape winced.  
  
"That wasn't very smart, Draco."  
  
Draco nodded.  
  
"He slapped me around the face and I kicked him in the ribs. I never saw anyone in so much pain. . ."  
  
"Perhaps because several of them were already broken."  
  
"Yeah. . . then you came. . .then tonight, I felt like something was wrong. Well, actually, I'd seen the Gryffindors reaction to you taking those points off him, and it wasn't pleasant. All of them were insulting him. Calling him a freak, saying his parents would be ashamed, that he wasn't a true Gryffindor.  
  
That evening I found him in the shadows outside the Gryffindor portrait hole. He had been crying, I think. Nobody would let him in; they'd changed the password. I brought him down here, and asked him what was going on. He acted all innocent, until I mentioned the Cruciatus. I asked him what could be worse and he just looked at me. He looked so hollow and dead. He finally told me that he'd had the Cruciatus last year, when Voldemort was reborn.  
  
Then I remembered you talking about concealing charms, so I tried to uncover them. Nothing happened. He saw, or felt, the spells and said that he was going now that I was quite sure he wasn't a Death Eater in disguise. He got up and nearly fainted. I caught him and he gasped and started crying. I dragged him to the bed and asked what was wrong. He uncast the charms himself, and asked me to help him without telling Dumbledore or Sirius."  
  
Draco paused.  
  
"That's Sirius Black, right? The second Pettigrew came to my father's mansion I knew it was true that Black was innocent."  
  
Snape ignored him for a long minute, staring at Harry. Then he closed his eyes, looking worried. Putting a hand on Harry's chest, he took a long deep breath and let it out again, then closed his eyes. He couldn't feel the life in Harry. Normally there should be some connection between people; a spark of light. But there was none.  
  
"Oh shit. Trust me to have the Boy-Who-Lived die on my hands" muttered Snape inaudibly.  
  
Draco looked bemused.  
  
"What is going on?"  
  
Then. . .there it was! A slight pulse that showed Harry was coming back.  
  
Snape turned to Draco.  
  
"I think. . .a little revenge is in order for the Gryffindors" he said, smirking evilly.  
  
To his amazement, Draco didn't look keen.  
  
"Won't that make them hate him even more, though?" he asked.  
  
Snape looked curiously at the younger, and very different to the elder, Malfoy.  
  
"Who would of thought it. . .Draco sticking up for Harry. After all these years of Albus saying it would happen."  
  
He chuckled to himself, but the mirth died on his lips when he looked at Harry. The boy was battered and bruised in more places than Snape thought possible. Healing would take a long time. And it wouldn't happen anywhere his enemies could get to him.  
  
As though reading Snape's mind, Draco said softly,  
  
"He can stay here as long as he likes. He'll be safe here."  
  
Snape looked at Draco for a long moment, and then, for the first time in eleven years, five months and six days, cracked a real, genuine smile. 


	9. Severus Thinks

Draco was secretly amazed. He was also very happy. He had won seventeen Galleons on a bet that Snape would never smile in front of a student, and now Draco had the photo safely stored in his wand. Thank Merlin for the Weasley twins, who had supplied Draco with a trunk full of practical jokes after he had stayed over the Burrow that summer.  
  
He was jerked from him thoughts when Snape turned to him, the smile gone from his sallow face.  
  
"If you mention this to any other student, Malfoy, you will wish the Death Eaters had got to you first, understood?"  
  
Draco meant to give a witty reply, but all the came out was a trembly "Y- yes, s-sir." He hated the potions master sometimes. But it had been Snape who had taken Draco in where the wizarding world (well, as far as Draco knew it) had turned it's back on him. Snape had been Draco's saviour, and now it looked like he would be Harry's too.  
  
As though Harry had read Draco's thoughts, he opened one discoloured eye, and looked around the room, his gaze resting on Snape and then Draco. His face twisted into disgust, but his eyes were full of terror, like a rabbit in the headlights.  
  
"Why?"  
  
The two Slytherins looked at him, puzzled.  
  
"Why the FUCKING HELL can you not LEAVE ME ALONE? Why do you persist in trying to give me help which I DON'T NEED?"  
  
Snape and Draco goggled, like fish out of water.  
  
Harry glared at them both, his frail body heaving with anger.  
  
"Why. . .why do you all pretend you're going to help me. . .and then take it back. . .I don't understand, I never hurt you. I'm. . .I'm meant to be saving you. I'm meant to save the world, and I-I. . .just don't know how. . ."  
  
Harry turned his back on Snape and Malfoy, trembling violently and trying to hold back tears. He felt weird. . .without the physical pain, he had all the time in the world to think about everything else that was bothering him.  
  
To be truthful, he didn't care if he died, but as the Boy-Who-Lived he obviously had to live up to his name until Voldemort was dead. He just didn't want to die at the hands of the Dursleys. It would hurt so much. It felt like a matter of pride. But then again, what is pride to a beaten and broken toy? An instrument for the destruction of Voldemort, to be dropped on the floor and inadvertently crushed.  
  
What happiness did he have to anticipate?  
  
What happiness did he deserve?  
  
**********************************  
  
Snape looked, horrified, at the boy lying trembling on the bed. He moved forward and reached out to touch Harry, but something was blocking him. He relaxed his mind and body and tried again, but harry was definitely blocking him out with a very strong shield. Draco looked puzzled.  
  
"What's happening?"  
  
"He's blocking everything out. He won't listen, or let me touch him, or speak. The shield is too strong for me to break."  
  
"Can't you stupefy him and let him get some sleep?"  
  
Snape turned a withering glare onto Draco.  
  
"It's a shield. That means it deflects things. If you want to stupefy yourself, be my guest. Merlin knows I could do with a laugh."  
  
Draco suddenly noticed how bitter his Head of House looked.  
  
"Severus, what is it?"  
  
Snape was silent for a moment.  
  
"I was always such a bastard to him. I thought he revelled in his fame. I thought he loved the attention. I made his life a living hell, and I just had no idea about any of this!"  
  
Draco sighed.  
  
"None of us did, Sev. Nobody had any idea. Don't beat yourself up about it."  
  
Snape looked at Draco and sighed.  
  
"You're wondering why I smiled a few minutes ago, aren't you? I'll tell you. For a moment; for more than a few moments, I thought I saw a Slytherin overcoming the restrictions of House loyalties to try and help someone in need. You've just completely taken back all the compassion you showed, Draco. 'Don't beat yourself up about it'? I wasn't. I was feeling something akin to sympathy for Potter. NOT thinking of myself."  
  
He turned away, disgust blazing in his eyes. Had it been too much to hope that maybe, someday, a student of his would find it in themselves to show some kindness and compassion?  
  
Obviously so.  
  
Sadly, he lay a hand on Harry's shield. It was the closest he'd get to anything as pure as the boy.  
  
Life was unfair.  
  
****************************  
  
Twenty minutes later, there was a quiet tap at the door. Draco opened it and looked Lupin up and down.  
  
"Come in. . .I suppose. . ."  
  
"Shut up Draco. Remus. . .we have a problem."  
  
"Great Merlin's beard! What the hell happened?"  
  
"I don't know. I think. . .it was the muggles he stays with."  
  
Remus looked suddenly aged, his face sagging with weariness.  
  
"Telling that ruddy canine should be interesting. I don't know what to do with the boy though. I've fixed him up as best I can but he needs rest, lots of it."  
  
"That's no problem Severus. He can come and stay in my rooms, until he is healed. The full moon has been and gone, and he will be safe for at least 3 weeks."  
  
Snape nodded, watching impassively as Lupin placed a mobilicorpus and invisibility charm on Harry and left the dungeons.  
  
He went back to the dungeons by the fire and tried to concentrate on marking books, but his mind kept wandering back to the boy, lying as though dead; indeed, battered to the point of death.  
  
How could they ever be forgiven?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**If anyone can figure out how to do bold and italic, please let me know!! And to all you Lupin lovers. . .I'm afraid he's going to be nasty! Because it's my fic, yay! So sorry if you don't like that. And also, no, Harry and Snape aren't going to have a romantic relationship. Unless I really change my mind.** 


	10. His Parents Would Be Ashamed

Harry woke up, his head pounding. Lupin was shaking him gently.  
  
"C'mon, Harry, it's time to get up. You need to have some breakfast."  
  
Harry groaned and turned over. With his natural strength Lupin pulled Harry's unresponsive body towards him. The boy tensed up, straining away from his father friend.  
  
"Hey, Harry, I'm not going to hurt you!"  
  
To tell the truth, Lupin was a bit disappointed. He had always wanted to be a father, but because of his condition it had never been possible. He regarded Harry as his half-godson. But the boy obviously didn't want anything to do with a werewolf.  
  
Lupin abruptly released Harry and retreated a step.  
  
"You need breakfast," he said a little more abruptly than he meant to. "There are some clothes on the chair. Get dressed and come through to the next room and we can go to breakfast together."  
  
He realised his words had sounded harsh, and added,  
  
"Ok, Harry? Take your time"  
  
In a more gentle tone.  
  
********* 10 minutes later **********  
  
Lupin sat tapping his foot waiting for Harry. Eventually he tapped on the door.  
  
"Harry, are you coming?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Harry? Are you there? I'm coming in, ok?"  
  
Silence.  
  
Heart pounding, Lupin opened the door and looked inside. What he saw made his anger rise again. Harry was asleep.  
  
Lupin walked over, and roughly shook his shoulder.  
  
"Get up!"  
  
Harry's eyes opened and he flinched away from Lupin.  
  
The werewolf ran a hand through his hair and sighed.  
  
"Harry, I'm not going to hurt you. Can't you even tell the difference between me and those muggles?"  
  
"Sorry, Remy."  
  
Harry's voice was small and cracked.  
  
"Professor Lupin while we're at school."  
  
"umm. . .ok. Sorry."  
  
**************************  
  
Harry sat playing with his food at breakfast, not eating anything. Lupin had insisted that he ate with his 'friends' in Gryffindor. He wouldn't listen when Harry tried to explain. As though he felt Harry thinking about him, he caught the boys eye and shot him a look that clearly said 'If you don't eat something soon you will be in big trouble, young man'.  
  
Conflicting emotions raced through Harry. Anger, fear, loneliness. He grabbed some muggle cereal that Dumbledore had an obsession with, and started to shovel it into his mouth. When it was finished, he began on the croissants, never letting his eyes leave Lupin. Lupin nodded approvingly and turned away.  
  
'Bastard!' thought Harry. 'Make sure I'm eating and then just turn away like. . .like. . .oh what the hell, fuck him, fuck them all.'  
  
He kept wolfing down food, unaware of the looks he was getting until Lavender murmered loudly enough for him to hear, "My god, he'll put on so much weight!"  
  
His stomach suddenly felt leaden; standing up abruptly he ran out of the Hall in search of the nearest bathroom. Which happened to be in Remus' rooms.  
  
How had he done it before? Two fingers, as far down his throat as he could force them. And he felt his breakfast rising, and began to vomit.  
  
*********************  
  
Snape leaned over to Lupin, smirking falsely.  
  
"I think your little charge is feeling unwell, Lupin."  
  
Lupin sighed.  
  
"He's such a nuisance. Just acting all pathetic to try and worm out of lessons, I think. Merlin knows what James and Lily would say."  
  
Snape prayed inwardly Lupin wasn't ever going to say that to Harry.  
  
"Ah well, I should go see if he's ok."  
  
"Don't make him go to classes, Remus. He needs the rest."  
  
Lupin snorted.  
  
"He's had enough of that already. He looks as good as new."  
  
Snape groaned inwardly as Lupin left the Hall. Had the werewolf not heard of concealing charms?  
  
***************************  
  
"Harry! What in Merlin's name do you think you're doing?"  
  
Harry didn't look up from where he was shoving his fingers down his throat.  
  
"Piss off, Re- Professor Lupin."  
  
"Don't you dare talk to me like that!"  
  
Lupin crossed over to Harry, his mood not helped when Harry flinched away from him.  
  
"So your relatives didn't even hurt you. Or starve you. You're doing it to yourself. For attention."  
  
Harry swallowed. Was he? He was only vaguely aware of the fact his arms and knuckles were bleeding. Lupin looked at him in disgust.  
  
"You can go to your lessons today. And grow up a bit, Harry. Your parents would be ashamed of you."  
  
Harry felt sick to his stomach. Stumbling with dizziness as he got to his feet, he brushed past Lupin and walked as quickly as he could to the Potions room. Oh great. Double Potions with Snape and the Slytherins. Lets all take the piss out of Potter.  
  
He pushed open the door.  
  
"Sorry I'm late, sir. Professor Lupin kept me after breakfast."  
  
Snape eyed Harry with interest. The aura of anger coming off the boy was very, very strong.  
  
"5 points from Gryffindor. Go and work with Master Malfoy."  
  
He stalked around the classroom as slowly as he could, before reaching Harry and Draco. As quietly as he could, he muttered,  
  
"Sit down if you need to, Mr Potter. Draco, if there are any problems, let me know immediately."  
  
Harry refused to sit, despite the concerned looks Draco kept shooting him. He would not be weak. He would make his parents proud. Whatever Lupin said. But then, Lupin had known his parents as well as anyone. They probably were ashamed of him. Ugh.  
  
*******************  
  
Two melted cauldrons and 30 points off Gryffindor later, Snape finished the class.  
  
"Potter, a word please. No Mr Malfoy, not you. You go to your next lesson."  
  
As the class filed out, all the Gryffindors giving Harry evil looks, Snape started on him.  
  
"Potter, I expect this sort of incompetence from Longbottom, not yourself. Pray explain why. . ."  
  
His face relaxed into concern as the last students left the classroom.  
  
"Why are you not resting?"  
  
"I'm healed, sir, I feel fine."  
  
"Come."  
  
Snape lead Harry into his private rooms, muttering a password that Harry didn't catch.  
  
"Sit."  
  
Harry sat, looking scared, and Snape kicked himself inwardly. The boys uncle and aunt probably talked to him like that.  
  
"If you are fine, will you take off the concealing charms?"  
  
"No sir, I'd rather not."  
  
There was no spirit in his answer and it worried Snape. Harry had seemed to diminish, as though he was trying to disappear entirely off the face of the earth.  
  
"I will do it."  
  
"You can't."  
  
"If I try hard enough I can, Mr Potter, don't doubt it."  
  
Harry looked at him flatly.  
  
Snape muttered something and pointed his wand at Harry, hating himself for scaring the boy. Harry's face contorted and he broke the counter spell Snape was trying to work. His power stretched around him and he grimaced with the strain the magic was bearing on him.  
  
Just when Snape wondered if he could break the spell, Harry gave a small moan and passed out cold on the floor. The concealing charms broke abruptly, leaving Snape to look at Harry Potter even worse than he had been the previous night.  
  
The bruises on his face were partially healed, but there was vomit around his face, his knuckles were red and swollen, and blood was slowly trickling down his arms.  
  
Just then, there was a knock at the door.  
  
"Severus?"  
  
It was Dumbledore. 


	11. Merlin's Beard!

Oh shit.  
  
Of all the excellent things to happen right now, Dumbledore was not in the top part of Snape's list.  
  
"Severus?"  
  
Snape muttered the charm to open the door and the aged wizard entered.  
  
"Ah, I see you are a little preoccupied right now, Severus, so I will not disturb you for too long."  
  
Dumbledore's eyes looked sad and cold at the same time as he scanned over the emaciated boy half fallen off the chair.  
  
"He's in a fairly bad way. Why didn't you tell me, Severus?"  
  
Snape sighed.  
  
"I uncast the charms on him in my office but he recast them. When you couldn't unbreak them I thought I must have imagined everything. And then Remus took him and I thought he wouldn't be my responsibility any more."  
  
"Well, I think he should go to Sirius now. He is his legal guardian."  
  
"He's also on the run from the Dementors. Hardly an ideal environment for Potter to recover in."  
  
Dumbledore nodded.  
  
"So what do we do with him?"  
  
********************  
  
"So what do we do with him?"  
  
Harry felt tears start behind his eyes again. He was such a bloody nuisance!  
  
He faked sleep, trying to block out the two men's voices. He lay staring at the wall for the whole day, pretending to sleep when Snape tried to wake him. Dumbledore had suggested that Snape let harry stayed with him for a while. Snape sounded wholly unimpressed.  
  
Finally it was dinner time. After Snape had checked to see if Harry was still asleep, he left.  
  
Harry heard the door click shut and slid up to a standing position, everything spinning around him.  
  
"Massus" he whispered, pointing his wand at himself. Soft golden letters forming 5st6lbs floated briefly in the air, before disappearing.  
  
Softly, he left the room, letting the portrait swing shut behind him. He didn't know the password to get back in, but then again he had no intention of returning.  
  
Slowly, trying to fight the dizziness, he made his way upstairs.  
  
***************************  
  
Snape felt a small tug on his neck. Picking up the pendant that all teachers wore, he noticed someone had opened his portrait hole. Surely Potter wasn't going? The boy had no robes. With a sigh, he pushed back his chair and stood up to intercept his charge before he walked semi-naked into the hall.  
  
****************************  
  
As he walked back to the dungeons, there was no sign of Potter. Slightly worried, Snape went back to Draco's room. There was nobody there. Potter had gone.  
  
*******************************  
  
It's all a fucking waste of time.  
  
I'm never going to defeat him.  
  
All I'm doing is making people ashamed.  
  
I deserve to die. Vanish.  
  
6 feet under.  
  
Harry looked over the edge of the astronomy tower. It was a big drop to the bottom. Big enough?  
  
**************************  
  
Snape virtually flew into the Hall.  
  
He grabbed Draco.  
  
"Where's Harry?"  
  
"I don't know. He was in your office last!"  
  
Snarling, Snape dropped the Slytherin and hurried to the staff table.  
  
"Minerva, Albus, we have a problem. Harry has disappeared."  
  
***************************  
  
10 minutes later, McGonnagal had searched the grounds, Albus the top two floors of the castle, and Severus the Dungeons. Harry was nowhere to be found. And then Snape took off.  
  
"Severus, where are you going?"  
  
His reply echoed though the dank dungeon walls.  
  
"Astronomy Tower."  
  
************************  
  
Harry looked down at the Hogwarts grounds. Hagrid was out with Fang. Who would find him first? Dumbledore was probably coming already. It was impossible to hide anywhere.  
  
With a last long look at the one place that had almost been a home to him, Harry clenched his teeth, squeezed his eyes shut, and walked off the edge of the astronomy tower.  
  
****************************  
  
Snape reached the tower in record time, just in time to see Harry walk of the edge.  
  
He looked in shocked amazement at the scene for a few seconds.  
  
"No!"  
  
***************************  
  
He was practically floating. He wasn't scared. Just looking forward to dying once and for all. He could have gone to Voldemort but he wasn't sure if Avada Kedavra worked on him. He'd never know now. Because he was getting closer and closer, the ground rushing up to meet him.  
  
And he had no regrets.  
  
********************************  
  
Dumbledore was there quicker than Snape would have realised possible, on the edge of the tower, staring down, grief etched on his features.  
  
And then Snape had an idea.  
  
**********************************  
  
Still floating. Drifting, gently, like a leaf. And they will trample on me when I'm buried, never knowing, never caring. I will be alone. I will be safe. I will be. . . "WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!"  
  
With a jerk, Harry realised he was floating around two metres above the concrete path. "Oh shit."  
  
****************************  
  
When Snape had raced down the stairs, out of the building and to the base of the astronomy tower, Harry was sitting staring into space. He didn't give any sign of seeing Snape, just mumbled. "I'm still alive."  
  
Without thinking, Snape grabbed Harry by his shoulders. With a gasp, Harry jerked away, seeing Snape for the first time. His eyes were hollow, there was no life in them.  
  
His voice was so many things. Shocked, scared, angry, tired, accusing.  
  
"You saved me." 


	12. He Wants To Die

Snape gawked at Harry, looking very un-terrifying potions master-ish. "Harr. . .wha. . .uhh. . .wha. . ." Then with a piercing enough shriek to wake the entire school, Minerva McGonagall flew to Harry's side, gathering him into an iron embrace. With a startled (and pained sounding) yelp, Harry flinched back away from his head of house.  
  
"Leave me alone!" He exclaimed, backing away, his voice high and shrill. "Don't touch me! Don't even come near me! Leave me alone!"  
  
McGonagall looked at Snape, her eyes full of horror.  
  
Dumbledore had levitated himself down and was looking at Harry. He suddenly looked much older.  
  
"What has brought this on, Harry?" he asked gently.  
  
Harry looked at him, his eyes lost and hopeless.  
  
He turned around, and walked back to the school, his robes billowing behind him in a fashion not unlike Snape's.  
  
Dumbledore rubbed his nose.  
  
"I don't understand," said McGonagall softly. "He's always seemed so happy, with his friends. Why would he upset them by doing something like this?"  
  
Snape looked at her in amazement, and she bristled.  
  
"What, Severus?"  
  
"Minerva, none of bloody Gryffindors are speaking to him! They're hurting him! They have been hexing him!"  
  
"And how would you, head of the SLYTHERIN house, know this?"  
  
"Mr Malfoy has been watching them."  
  
"Oh, and I should take the word of two SLYTHERINS over my own house?"  
  
Dumbledore cleared his throat. "This is not the best way forward, Minerva, Severus. We need someone to talk to Harry. Maybe Remus?"  
  
"He ran away from Remus , Albus, for a reason."  
  
"Hmm. Sirius?"  
  
"Bloody flea-bitten mutt" muttered Snape darkly.  
  
McGonagall glared at him, and turned to Dumbledore.  
  
"I think Black would be the best option. I'll owl him tonight. And we had better find Mr Potter before he does anything else stupid."  
  
The two wizards departed, leaving Snape to rub his temples. He didn't think this was a good idea, but as head of Slytherin there wasn't a lot he could do.  
  
But Harry had tried to kill himself! Didn't he owe it to the boy to apologise, to make up to him? Though few saw it, Snape did have a human side. He just hated people getting credited with something they hadn't done. Like Harry. He hadn't defeated Voldemort once, Lily had.  
  
But that wasn't Harry's fault. He hadn't asked for the fame.  
  
With another sigh, Snape headed back to the castle.  
  
*********************  
  
Draco was doing his transfiguration homework when there was a tap on his door. He opened it and Harry stumbled through the portrait. His hair was sticking up even more than usual and his eyes looked hollow, like they had after the Third Task last year. Draco gaped at him, and stood up, helping Harry onto the chair.  
  
"What happened to you?"  
  
"I don't want to talk about it. Just. . .can I stay here tonight?"  
  
Draco nodded mutely.  
  
"I'll tell Professor Snape. My bed's in the next room."  
  
"Ok. Thanks."  
  
Draco was concerned at how flat Harry's voice was. Something had happened, but he didn't know what.  
  
He tossed a handful of powder into the flames and Snape's head appeared.  
  
"Sir, I have Harry here. He looked exhausted and went straight to bed. I thought you should know."  
  
"Thank you Draco. I'll go and inform Minerva directly."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
Snape sighed and pushed some hair out of his eyes.  
  
"I am telling you this on condition you will never tell anyone else, because I trust you and I think you can help Harry. He jumped off the Astronomy Tower."  
  
Draco blanched and sat down quickly. Snape looked at him and sighed.  
  
"What a bloody mess", he muttered, and then disappeared.  
  
*************************  
  
I can't do that again. I failed. I can't let everyone be killed by Voldemort. I have to save the world.  
  
With a small sigh, Harry fell asleep. It had been a long day.  
  
He woke after about 10 minutes, pain shooting through his scar from Voldemort's latest conquest.  
  
He wanted to die.  
  
*************************  
  
Draco heard Harry's hoarse gasp, and the sound of the boy retching in the bathroom.  
  
Why was there nothing he could do?  
  
****************************  
  
Snape sat chopping roots for his potion. Normally it would calm his nerves. But today he couldn't concentrate.  
  
*******************************  
  
Dumbledore sat in his office, waiting for Sirius. It had been 10 minutes since he had sent the fastest owl in Hogwarts with a Portkey for the Animagus. He should be here, any second now. . .any second. . .  
  
***************************  
  
Harry stared at the stone ceiling. Something slimy was dripping from it.  
  
He wanted to die. 


	13. Padfoot Returns

**A/N sorry it's been so long, I wasn't going to leave you all hanging on, but we had a huge power cut and I only got the power back yesterday morning and so much school work.ugh..can't guarantee this will be especially long, but anyways, it's here. Don't forget to keep those reviews coming in! I love reviewers and will always consider any ideas you give me.**  
  
  
  
**********************************  
  
Suddenly, in Dumbledore's office, there was a swishing sound, and one Sirius Black emerged from thin air, clutching a bag of sherbet lemons which had been his Portkey into Hogwarts.  
  
"I swear, Albus, you have to get over this thing with muggle sweets!"  
  
Dumbledore smiled, but his eyes didn't twinkle as they normally did.  
  
"Sirius - it's about Harry. Will you sit down?"  
  
Sirius blanched, and looked at Dumbledore in horror.  
  
"What happened? Albus, is he alright?"  
  
"Yes. He is alright. Physically."  
  
Sirius visibly relaxed and sank back in his chair. Then he straightened up with a glower.  
  
"I'll string him up if he hasn't been keeping up in class. . ."  
  
"No, it's nothing like that. It's. . .a hard thing to have to relate, Sirius, so please keep calm and don't interrupt me."  
  
Sirius looked tense and anxious, but sat silent and motionless waiting for Dumbledore to explain.  
  
"Last night, Harry ran away from the Dungeons," Dumbledore ignored Sirius' splutter and continued, "He went up to the Astronomy Tower and. . .jumped. Thankfully, Severus had the presence of mind to levitate him, and Harry is now recovering well. However, given the circumstances, I would prefer him to stay with you."  
  
The headmaster paused for a moment, looking at Sirius over the top of his half-moon glasses.  
  
"Would you like to see him?"  
  
****************************************  
  
McGonagall had come into Draco's room and taken Harry back to Gryffindor dorms that morning. She told him that he could sleep in late, but that she would be happier if he was with his friends.  
  
Harry didn't bother to say anything. She wouldn't listen to him. He longed for Sirius. He could trust Sirius. Ok, so he had told Draco not to tell Sirius, but he thought that now most of the staff knew he had tried to off himself, Sirius would find out anyway.  
  
He had been staring at the ceiling for about 45 minutes when there was a tap at the door, and Sirius' voice.  
  
"You in there, Harry?"  
  
*****************************************  
  
Sirius pushed open the doors and looked at his best friend's son. Unbidden, the words 'I wish he had died instead of James' rushed into his mind, and he shook his head to clear the thought. It wouldn't go.  
  
He awkwardly sat on the edge of Harry's bed, surreptitiously stretching his legs. He had been prowling around as a dog for too long.  
  
Afterwards he maintained that he had meant to say "How are you?" or "Oh God, Harry, are you alright?". However the words that came out were, "What.The.Bloody.Hell.Did.You.Pull.A.Stunt.Like.That.For?"  
  
Harry recoiled back into the bedsheets. This was like his worst nightmare. Oh god, he should have known how ashamed Sirius would be. Sirius was so brave, so loyal - so unlike Harry. Of course he wouldn't understand! Who would?  
  
He meant to apologise. He meant to tell Sirius that he didn't want to hurt anyone. But all that came out was a snarl.  
  
"Fuck off! What makes you think you could understand? Nobody knows what's going on, you're all just accusing me! I hate you all!"  
  
Sirius stared at his godson, hurt and fury showing in his eyes. A small voice at the back of his mind told him to apologise but he didn't.  
  
"We have been working to save your sorry little hide since the moment you were born! How dare you criticise us? And Dumbledore, who you haven't once apologised to!"  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought people who tried to kill themselves weren't supposed to apologise to the people who made them do it!"  
  
Sirius glared in a very Snape-like manner at Harry.  
  
"Do not talk to me again until you wish to apologise," he said icily. "I am ashamed of you." And as he walked out of the room, he muttered,  
  
"I wish it had been you instead of James."  
  
***************************************  
  
Remus tried to calm down Sirius.  
  
"I miss him so much, Remy. They say Harry's like him, but he's not. Not really. James would never hurt people like that. Why couldn't it have been Harry?"  
  
The animagus broke down sobbing, and Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius.  
  
"I know, Siri. I know."  
  
***************************************  
  
Harry drew the cool blade over his hot, scarred skin. It felt so good, so alive. He was alive, wasn't he? Dying wouldn't bring his father back for Sirius and Remus. It wasn't worth it. Was it? Of course Harry had heard what Sirius had said as he left the dormitory. That hurt even more - that Sirius hadn't meant it to be heard, so he must have been serious.  
  
With a sigh, wrapping his bloodstained arms in bandages, the muggle way (it hurt more) he went back to bed, intending to sleep.  
  
But fate would never be that kind to him.  
  
************************************  
  
*Kill the spare!*  
  
"NOOO!"  
  
"Shut it, Potter. Before we come and shut it for you."  
  
"Sorry"  
  
************* 5 minutes Later ***************  
  
*Kill the spare!*  
  
"NOOO!"  
  
There was silence, and then footsteps. Lots of them.  
  
And then pain.  
  
***************** 10 minutes later *****************  
  
Harry stumbled out of the common room, out of the portrait hole and into the landing. Everything hurt. The lashes on his back, which his strongest concealing charms had covered from everyone, had opened up, as had his arms. He felt cold, sick, and humiliated. As they had started raining blows down on him, he had remembered Vernon, and vomited all over the floor. A spell would clear it - but not the memories he relived every time a hand was raised against him.  
  
He started towards Draco's room, and then stopped halfway down. Draco had probably had more than enough of Harry's petty whinging. After all, he was a Slytherin. And Harry. . .was nothing. The Gryffindors, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs hated him now. He should just disappear. As though agreeing, his stomach rumbled loudly.  
  
With a small groan, Harry's legs gave out and he slid to the floor, resting against the cool stones.  
  
*********************************  
  
Snape had been patrolling the corridors again. Much to his disappointment, he hadn't managed to catch any students out of bed. Maybe he should steal Potter's map that seemed to show everyone in the school at one time. It would be very useful. . .  
  
Snape's thoughts were disturbed by a small moan from around the corner. Quickening his pace, he hurried tot he sound, and saw Harry, short pyjamas drenched in blood, slumped against the wall.  
  
"Fucking hell. Not again!" He muttered, and swept over to the boy.  
  
"Harry? Harry!"  
  
Harry looked up into Snape's blurry face. Oh no, this had to be a nightmare! Not again!  
  
Snape sighed. The boy seemed to be surrounded by imbeciles who had no idea how to look after him. Hadn't his godfather been supposed to come?  
  
He jerked himself from his thoughts as he watched Harry loose consciousness again, and, sweeping up the child in his arms, hurried back to his rooms. 


	14. Some Horrible Dreams and Flashbacks

**yeah ok, so it's short, but if you had as much work as I do you wouldn't be updating at all, so please nobody whine at me for making a short chapter, cos it's nearly midnight and I feel like hell anyway. But I hope you all enjoy. . . **  
  
  
  
  
  
Worry etched clearly on the potions master's face, he carried the malnourished boy swiftly into his private chamber and laid him on the bed. Muttering a small charm, Harry's robes vanished and Snape sucked in his breath. The boy was in a real mess. What had those sadistic bastards done to him?  
  
Harry's bones jutted out from him even worse than last time Snape had seen him. Bruises were already forming over the top of the fading ones he had received earlier from, probably his muggle relatives. There were open cuts on his arm, which Snape assumed the Gryffindors had also done. With a thrill of horror he saw blood spreading on the sheets, and turned Harry onto his front. What he saw almost made him retch. The boys back had obviously been whipped, and the welts had come open. Snape didn't remember them being this bad before; though the boy was obviously adept with his concealing charms.  
  
But why hadn't he tried to heal himself?  
  
Snape shook his head and set about cleaning Harry, healing as many cuts and bruises as he could. The boy was in a deep sleep, and for his sake, Snape hoped it would stay that way.  
  
************************************  
  
He was grading potions essays when he heard an unsteady movement from the next room. There was the sound of shuffling feet heading towards the bathroom and then violent retching. Snape was torn between respecting the boy's privacy and stopping him from fainting and hitting himself on the hard floor. In the end he tapped on the door.  
  
Silence  
  
"Harry?"  
  
Silence  
  
"Harry, if you don't say something I'm coming in, ok?"  
  
Silence  
  
Snape pulled open the door and winced as he looked at Harry. The teenager had either fainted or fallen asleep on the floor, and looked very thin and broken sprawled over the floor.  
  
He was now having nightmares, twitching and moaning.  
  
For once in his life, Snape wondered if anything could be worse than being a Death Eater.  
  
****************************  
  
flashback in dream  
  
Vernon advanced on Harry, brandishing a whip.  
  
"No please sir, no. Have mercy, sir."  
  
"You don't want the whip?"  
  
"Anything sir. Anything but the whip!"  
  
There was an ominous pause. Then. . .  
  
"Anything?"  
  
The sound of a zip. . .laughing. . .rancid breath. . .splitting pain. . .and blackness.  
  
And then light.  
  
"Harry. . .why did you sacrifice your mother? Why couldn't she have lived?"  
  
Harry looked at the mop of hair that was so like his - the resemblance really was amazing.  
  
"I'm sorry dad. I didn't know. I didn't see. I'm sorry!"  
  
"Oh Harry, why are you such a disappointment. I wouldn't have begged for your life if I knew you'd just throw it away like this. You have made Albus and Sirius ad Remus so ashamed, Harry."  
  
"No.mum.I didn't."  
  
But they were fading. . .and now it was only Vernon, with Petunia and Dudley laughing in the background. And laughing. . .and laughing. . . and blackness.  
  
end flashback/dream  
  
A scream rent the dank dungeon air, and Snape swept through to where Harry was lying on the floor, half-dried tears on his face. Silently but gently he helped Harry to his feet and back onto the bed, and didn't leave the boy's side that night.  
  
*********************  
  
The second Harry heard Snape leave he got to his feet and headed woozily to the bathroom. His face was blackened and swollen. He looked like a complete mess.  
  
And why the hell was Snape standing behind him, arms outstretched?  
  
***********************  
  
Snape had guessed Potter was asleep and had re-entered the rooms to find Harry staring into the mirror, swaying from side to side. He had managed to catch the boy, put him back to bed and cast a strong sleeping charm on him before breakfast.  
  
Now he just had to talk to Minerva and Albus. 


	15. There Is A Plot! And It StartsNow!

As Snape felt Harry stirring from his sleep, he moved away, not wanting the boy to see his concern.  
  
He's a Gryffindor, Severus. Get a grip. This is Minerva's responsibility.  
  
{Ah,} said the nasty other voice in his head, {But look what a good job she, Dumbledore and Sirius did.}  
  
You don't know they messed up!  
  
{Ah, so that would be why he was lying alone in a pool of blood when I found him. . .}  
  
Snape shook his head abruptly and turned to Harry.  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"Fine, thank you, sir."  
  
Snape rolled his eyes obviously and repeated,  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"Fine, thank. . ."  
  
"No Mr Potter, I would like a truthful answer."  
  
Harry groaned slightly and said in a very quiet voice,  
  
"I feel like I'm going to die. And I'll be very disappointed if I don't."  
  
"What happened? Again, a truthful answer, Mr Potter, or I may just send you back to your tower."  
  
The second the words were out of his mouth he regretted them, and wished deeply he had a time-turner. Harry flinched, and slid over the bed so he was as far away from Snape as possible.  
  
Snape waited for a moment, and then sighed. Merlin, this would be agony. Could he do it? Severus Snape, potions master, had done many things in his lifetime. He himself had once battled a basilisk, had brewed and tasted potions that could easily have killed him; he had been a Death Eater, and betrayed Voldemort.  
  
There wasn't much Snape was scared of now. He seemed to remember someone quoting "To the well trained mind, death is the next great adventure" to him, but he couldn't remember who. But basically, this was something that would hurt Snape's pride more than he would tolerate. Which is why he had never done it before.  
  
"I'm sorry, Harry."  
  
************************  
  
Oh great, no fanfares, no applause or semi-naked girls kissing you. What a waste of your first apology, Sev!  
  
{I'm sure Harry appreciated it deep down. . .}  
  
The aforementioned boy was curled into a foetal position on the bed. Snape sighed and approached carefully.  
  
"Mr Potter, I need to redress your wounds. For that I will need you to not be curled up like a hedgehog."  
  
Harry slowly relaxed his shoulders and allowed Snape access to the welts and gashes on his back.  
  
"Who did this to you?"  
  
"Nobody. I was in a street fight."  
  
Snape was silent for a moment as he finished magically cleaning the wounds. Then he sat on the bed so that Harry was looking at him, and said as gently as he could,  
  
"You have to tell someone, Harry. If you'll just admit it, any action can be taken. Those muggles could be prosecuted under either Wizarding or Muggle law. Or you can do nothing, but you are not going back there for another summer!"  
  
Harry looked at him blankly, and simply said,  
  
"Why?"  
  
Snape rubbed the bridge of his nose, which wasn't actually that big, and regarded Harry through beady black eyes.  
  
"Believe it or not, I do not revel in death and despair. You have come very close to the former, and very deeply into the latter, recently. I know the normal procedure would be to tell your Head of House, but Minerva has very little idea of the underlying personalities of her students. There are some far nicer Slytherins than Gryffindors, she is just too blinded by House Points to see it, and if you ever repeat a word of this I will string you up by your thumbs in the Dungeons for a good 3 weeks."  
  
The whole monologue was delivered in the same, even, silky smooth tone. Harry swallowed back a smile, the first for a long time, and nodded.  
  
"Now, please, tell me who did this to you."  
  
Harry gulped. It was so painful to remember, to relive the beatings and the verbal abuse.  
  
"I. . .can't. . ."  
  
"Oh come on, how hard can it be?"  
  
"I. . ."  
  
Harry's voice cracked and he turned away. Snape frowned and looked at Harry closely. His eyes were jammed shut, and he was obviously close to having a panic attack. Hating himself for it, Snape took out his wand and murmered 'Claris'. Harry's mumbling turned into coherent words, which Snape wished he'd never heard.  
  
"No. . .please, uncle Vernon. . .no. . .it hurts, so much, it hurts, make it stop, please someone, anyone, help me!"  
  
The boy was curled up into a foetal position, hands fumbling with his trousers, trying in vain to keep them on in his mind, and Snape suddenly understood.  
  
"Holy Shit. . ."  
  
**********************  
  
They raped him. They beat him and raped him.  
  
{. . .}  
  
Snape rubbed his head. He had put a sleeping charm on Harry but had no idea what to do.  
  
Little did he know, that someone else was plotting.  
  
*********************************  
  
(In a random evil, dark and deserted place in the middle of nowhere)  
  
Voldemort watched as his faithful Death Eaters gathered around in the shadows, like silent angels of death. Except for Crabbe, who apparated on top of Goyle. The two fell to the ground in a flurry of robes, cursing each other, as the other Death Eaters laughed.  
  
Voldemort hissed and the commotion stopped immediately.  
  
"I have received very interesting news. The Potter boy can now be lured from Hogwarts. He will be without protection."  
  
"Master. . .we beg to know. . ."  
  
Voldemort smiled. It was not a pretty sight.  
  
"His relatives have abused him to the point of death. He is bitter and alone. The Gryffindors have deserted him. Dumbledore cannot help him. He has tried to kill himself. He is ripe, my dear followers, for the picking."  
  
"But, my Lord, how did you find this out?"  
  
Again, the Serpentine Wizard smiled thinly.  
  
"A. . .contact. . .inside Hogwarts has informed me." 


	16. Voldemort's Plan

***** Voldemort's Clichéd Hideout *****  
  
"Malfoy!"  
  
"Yes, my Lord?"  
  
The cloaked and masked man stepped out of the shadows and prostrated himself at the wizard's feet.  
  
"I have a task for your son, Lucius."  
  
"But. . .my Lord. . ."  
  
"Stop gibbering, Malfoy."  
  
There were sniggers from the surrounding circle as Lucius flushed slightly.  
  
"I am aware you have disowned your son. . .quite right, given the circumstances, but if you would stop rattling on like an idiot. . ."  
  
He paused for more sniggers,  
  
"I would explain my plan."  
  
*************************  
  
Harry woke up with a moan. Thinking wasn't pleasant, because his head felt like it was about to split in half. However, seeing as he was obviously in a Slytherin room, and Snape was within 3 metres of his and not deducting house points, something was obviously amiss.  
  
Which meant that Harry had to think.  
  
"Owwunggghuhhh"  
  
Snape arched an eyebrow.  
  
"Back to your usual conversational standards, Potter?"  
  
"Whuhadid?"  
  
"I beg your pardon, Mr Potter, but I am not fluent in Gobbledegook. You will have to indulge my ignorance and speak in English."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
Snape raised both eyebrows, looking slightly concerned.  
  
"Do you not remember?"  
  
"No. . .every time I try to think, I just end up blacking out whatever happened."  
  
Snape's face relaxed.  
  
"Of course - the potion. You will remember when your body is healed. Until then you will be staying with me."  
  
Harry nodded numbly. His last coherent thought was that maybe the vial Snape had just given him was poison. So why had he, with all his wizard instincts, accepted it without question?  
  
**********************  
  
****** V.C.H ******  
  
"As I said before, I have a contact inside Hogwarts. However, this is not completely accurate. Obviously, that fool Dumbledore is not idiot enough to have a spy in his midst. It would be more realistic to say that I have a contact outside Hogwarts who is able to keep inside Dumbledore's inside circle. She must remain nameless."  
  
There was an excited whispering amongst the Death Eaters. Voldemort smiled. Let the idiots whisper. They would never guess who his contact was.  
  
"Rita. . ."  
  
"Prophet Reporter. . ."  
  
"Skeeter. . ."  
  
"Tri-Wizard Correspondent last year. . ."  
  
Again, Voldemort smiled to himself. He had not been Hogwarts chess champion for no reason. His combination of ruthlessness and cunning had allowed him to win every game he played. Those skills had kept him alive in his darkest years. Now they would bring him every reward he desired.  
  
"Arabella Figg!", exclaimed Nott excitedly.  
  
"Crucio. In future, don't make such stupid suggestions."  
  
The Death Eaters continued chattering over the sounds of Nott's screams.  
  
"Madam Malkin. . ."  
  
"Rosmerta from that Hogsmeade Inn. . ."  
  
"That Weasley woman!"  
  
The Death Eaters burst out laughing. It was a terrifying scene, Nott writhing on the damp soil screaming, Voldemort lazily pointing his wand to maintain the curse, and the hooded and masked Death Eaters laughing, the sound echoing through their masks.  
  
************************  
  
McGonagall looked sternly around the Common Room.  
  
"I am very, very disappointed in you."  
  
"Very, very disappointed.", she repeated.  
  
"How could you exclude a member of your House, going so far as to physically abuse him?"  
  
A few people looked awkward and shuffled.  
  
"Harry Potter is in a critical condition because of you all! He had to be rescued by the SLYTHERIN HEAD OF HOUSE!"  
  
Her voice rose to a cracked scream on the last few words, and her hands balled into fists. Only Ron and Hermione had ever seen her so angry, and that had been last year when Barty Crouch had been given the Dementor's Kiss.  
  
"Do you have any idea how serious this?"  
  
Almost every now was looking carefully at cracks on the wall, and looking very embarrassed. Finally Lavender spoke up.  
  
"Where is he, Professor?"  
  
McGonagall glared at her, her lips pressed tightly together.  
  
"He is staying in the SLYTHERIN QUATERS!"  
  
The whole Gryffindor house winced collectively.  
  
"Now, for your punishment. . ."  
  
*************************  
  
****** V.C.H ******  
  
When the Death Eaters had finally stopped sniggering and Nott was partially recovered (Voldemort berated himself. . .he had precious few Death Eaters, and he could not afford to brain-damage any of them.  
  
They were stupid enough anyway.  
  
And none of them had guessed his contact! Honestly, he didn't want them to, but nobody had even come remotely close.  
  
Imbeciles.  
  
"Malfoy, I repeat, I have a job for your son. You must send him an innocent looking letter containing this substance."  
  
Voldemort held out a vial of thick yellow potion, and Malfoy accepted it with a bow.  
  
"Thank you, my Lord."  
  
"I would advise you to be writing the letter from someone other than yourself. . ."  
  
"My Lord. . .might I ask, how this plan will work?"  
  
He was smarter than most of them, Lucius. Voldemort watched him closely at all times. He was a valuable ally, but could be a problematic enemy.  
  
"Yes, you may. You will all be aware that this looks like bubotuber pus? A clever invention, brought to me by Severus. Before he betrayed me. It is, in fact, a liquid version of the Imperius. . .with some adjustments. For whoever sends it can make themselves known inside the person's mind. Now, Lucius, what I want you to do is this.  
  
I want you to write a hate-latter to your son, from any anonymous supporter of Voldemort. Your son will believe the contents of the envelope to be Bubotuber pus. The ingrained potion will seep in through his skin, and allow you full access to his mind. You must treat yourself with half of the potion, and a link will be established. You will have full control of him. He, meanwhile, will believe to be fully recovered from the effects of the potion."  
  
Voldemort sat back and smirked. He had thought about this plan long and hard.  
  
"And, my lord, how do you wish me to lure the Potter boy out of school?"  
  
"You, being so ignorant, are probably not aware of your son's friendship with Potter. He will tell Potter that some Gryffindors are coming to attack him. He will lead Harry out of the school using Potter's invisibility cloak, and into the forest. You, Lucius, will be returning from an urgent meeting with Dumbledore about the running of the school. I believe you are constantly pressing Fudge to have Dumbledore removed? You will pick up Potter in the forest and apparate with him. Your son will then return to the school, having no idea where Potter is.  
  
However, this must be completed with as much haste as possible. The effects of the potion will only last for 10 days. After that, your son will again be lost from your control."  
  
All the Death Eaters, Malfoy included, gaped.  
  
The plan was bold, sneaky, risky, foolproof, and possibly historic. And if it failed, Malfoy would be dead meat.  
  
Several Death Eaters smirked to themselves underneath their hoods.  
  
**************************** 


	17. Shock and Horror

Snape sighed. He really wasn't cut out to be a father figure. But he didn't regret volunteering to look after Harry, because he remembered passing out in the hallways of Hogwarts one day after having the Cruciatus put on him. Dumbledore had virtually carried him up to his office and talked to him. Snape had never confessed to working for Voldemort at the time, but Dumbledore's kindness where other teachers might have just told him to go to the Infirmary had eaten away at him. The memory of sitting in blissful silence which Dumbledore simply handed him a cup of tea and sat back, admiring the view from the window, with no tension in the atmosphere, made him squirm inside to know that he was working towards the downfall of this kind man.  
  
Eventually he had broken down, and tried to poison himself using a very complex potion. Dumbledore arrived at the last moment and Snape had confessed everything. And he shouldn't have been surprised that the Headmaster already knew, but was just waiting for Snape to tell him.  
  
Dumbledore, Snape reflected, knew everything about the school and it's pupils.  
  
So why hadn't he picked up on Harry?  
  
***************************  
  
Morning light assaulted Harry's eyes. It was too early. For a moment he thought he might be at the Dursley's. This place wasn't familiar to him.  
  
It was when he heard a painfully familiar voice.  
  
"Good morning, Mr Potter. How are you feeling?"  
  
Snape's obsidian eyes seemed to burn into Harry.  
  
"A truthful answer, if you please."  
  
"Umm. . .a bit better, but not excellent, sir."  
  
Harry had decided that since he had no idea why Snape was being so out-of- character he might as well just treat the man with the usual respect and hope he got out alive.  
  
"Are you ready to talk about the Muggles?"  
  
Harry shuddered.  
  
"I don't know if I'm ready to even think about it, sir."  
  
Snape rubbed his nose.  
  
"You have to start thinking about it sometime, because it will never go away. Even if you try to forget it ever happened, you will remember. Usually at. . .the most inconvenient time."  
  
Harry was silent and Snape took the moment to reflect on what his words had been referring to.  
  
He had been spying for the Light for several months when he had discovered that a huge attack was to be made on Hogsmeade. He informed Dumbledore and the Ministry of Magic immediately and a selection of wizards was allotted the task of intercepting and stunning the Death Eaters. Snape had to join the Death Eaters, pretending nothing was wrong. But then Voldemort changed the time of attack to half an hour earlier. Several wizards were killed and many houses burnt to the ground. And then Richardson, a junior Death Eater, had seen Snape rescue a child. He had gone to raise the alarm, and Snape had killed him. Snape's disguise remained intact, but as soon as he got to Hogwarts that evening he started sobbing uncontrollably, the memory too much to bear. The memory of killing innocent people. How he had been as a Death Eater.  
  
That night he had been inconsolable. In the end, Dumbledore had had to restrain him so he didn't jump off the Astronomy Tower, while Pomfrey had forced some sort of potion down his throat, and then everything had gone black.  
  
He supposed Harry must feel a little bit the same. Except that Harry was not to blame for his misfortunes. He had never made any decisions for himself, because he had never had the opportunity.  
  
That was why Snape had loathed Harry; and why he now understood the boy.  
  
Harry was still silent, looking at Snape thoughtfully.  
  
"Sir. . .why am I staying here? I mean, I'm very grateful, but I can't quite imagine any of the Professors being too happy about it."  
  
"You were close to dead when I found you. My medical skills far exceed Pomfrey's, but I lack the bedside manner, therefore I turned to potions instead. It has been decided that you should stay with me so that I can give you the correct medical attention."  
  
Snape wondered if the look on the boy's face was disappointment. It looked like that, but why on earth would he be disappointed? Furious, nauseated maybe, confused; but disappointed?  
  
"Oh, ok sir. Thank you."  
  
Yes, definitely disappointment. By why, in Merlin's name? Harry had turned away from Snape, his breathing evening out. Snape suddenly realised that Harry hadn't eaten anything since he had been found.  
  
He gently shook Harry's shoulder.  
  
"Harry, you need to eat something."  
  
"Wunaleep"  
  
"No, you need to eat. You can sleep afterwards."  
  
"I'm not hungry, thank you, sir."  
  
"I am not accustomed to repeating myself. You need to eat. Want is immaterial."  
  
"No, sir, I couldn't. But thank you anyway."  
  
Snape frowned; this was odd. The boy must be starving. Maybe he would be hungry if he ate something.  
  
He summoned food from the kitchens. Bread and thin soup with a cup of water. He blinked and the food was gone! There were crumbs around Harry's mouth. A house elf appeared with more food, and Harry practically inhaled that as well. Snape tried to stop himself smiling but failed.  
  
After Harry had sipped at the water, he asked to go to the bathroom. Snape, showing unusual thoughtfulness, transfigured a chair into a walking stick, to give the boy better support. He pottered around in his study, only going back in ten minutes to check that Harry was ok. The boy was asleep on the bed. It was fairly hard, but Snape supposed that it was luxurious compared to what he had to sleep on with his muggle relatives.  
  
*********************************  
  
The next few days continued in the same pattern. In those few days, Snape started to stop worrying about Harry a bit. Then one day he saw a drop of blood on the basin. Another day, a semi-transfigured something. It was turning back, and all Snape could make out was a wood and gold handle, about half the length of a wand. He also noticed how red Harry's knuckles were, and how he always ate so much food but never seemed to put on weight, even though his only exercise was going to the bathroom.  
  
It was very strange.  
  
*************************************  
  
Dream Cedric's body shimmered before Harry, looking accusingly at him.  
  
"Why didn't you get in the way of the curse? It doesn't work on you. You could have saved me, but you're too selfish. You just wanted to take all the glory for the Tri-Wizard tournament. Why the hell didn't you guess that Voldemort would be there?"  
  
"Oh Cedric, I'm so sorry. . .I didn't know. . .I took your body back. . ."  
  
"You didn't bother getting my body", said his father bitterly, looking down at him, "Or Lily's. You shouldn't have lived. It's a shame to look down on you. You bring disgrace even to Lily's family!"  
  
"But. . .dad. . .mum. . ."  
  
"Don't call me that! I don't want to be any mother of yours! I had to die for you. How can you ever justify that?"  
  
"You are no son of ours. Our son would have defeated Voldemort by now. He would be strong and brave. . ."  
  
"No. . .no! Please, don't leave me!"  
  
end dream  
  
Harry woke abruptly. He had conditioned himself not to cry, but his shoulders were shaking. He had to. . .had to feel alive. . .wanted it all to go away. . .  
  
He gulped down some food, and hobbled to the bathroom. He quickly transfigured a razor into a knife and dug it into his skin, revelling in the feeling of blood running down his arm. Not enough to be dangerous. . .just enough to hurt like hell. And then he made himself throw up. . .like he was vomiting all the evil out of him, all his nightmares. . .that was all it was. . .and then the room started to spin, and he had to lean against the wall, but the wall was warm and soft - he sprung away and stumbled, and then Severus Snape appeared before him, looked both shocked and horrified.  
  
"Harry. . .what. . .why?"  
  
Harry hung his head. He heard the footsteps come closer and flinched at the thought of another beating, before he realised that he was safe.  
  
A slender white finger tilted his chin up, and he was forced to look into Snape's eyes. The older wizard silently lead him to the basin and helped him to wash his face. When that was done, he kept his arm around Harry, virtually carrying him back to the bedroom. He gently laid Harry down and tucked the sheet around him. Harry didn't fight the sleep, and the last thing he remembered was a whispered 'massus', and 5st 0lbs flashing in front of his tired eyes.  
  
*******************************  
  
Had Snape been at breakfast the next morning, he would have seen a barn owl swoop in carrying a letter for Draco Malfoy. Draco opened it, curiously. He didn't get much post any more. As soon as he pulled open the envelope, thick yellow liquid splashed on his hands. Several Slytherins sniggered as he gasped and stood up. The letter, which had been untouched by the pus, simply read, 'Traitor'.  
  
With a groan, Draco quickly went up to the Infirmary.  
  
****************************  
  
When Harry woke up after yet another nightmare, his first instinct was to run and cut himself. However when he tried to stand, someone was pinning him down. He froze for a few seconds before realising it couldn't be Vernon, and then tried to get free. Whoever it was (he didn't have his glasses on) held him firmly but gently. When he relaxed back into the pillows he saw, to his horror, Snape, and he remembered exactly what had happened earlier.  
  
Snape looked at him sympathetically.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"The nightmare."  
  
Harry winced and sighed.  
  
"Cedric."  
  
"Diggory?"  
  
"Yeah. He said it was my fault. That I should have saved him and let the Killing Curse hit me, because I might have been able to survive it. My parents. . .as well. . .they said that I should have saved them. She. . .died for me. I should have died instead. It should have been me."  
  
Harry was vaguely aware that he had bitten through his lip trying not to cry, and the tang of blood was in his mouth. But the tears wouldn't go away, they were welling up in his eyes, and he suddenly wanted to scream with the unfairness of it all. He tried to turn away, but Snape was still pinning him down, and he couldn't stop a single tear rolling down his face.  
  
Snape gently gathered the skeletal boy into his arms and held him close, not knowing what else to do. Harry tensed for a moment, and relaxed. Snape was so. . .black, and soft. He smelt of herbs and smoke. A huge sob wracked Harry's body and Snape began to rub his back gently, letting Harry cry all he needed to.  
  
Finally, Harry stopped crying, and immediately fell asleep, exhausted.  
  
It was only then that Snape realised there were tears running down his own face as well. 


	18. The Plan Begins

After double Potions the next day, Draco stayed behind after the class. He knew that Harry was staying with Snape.  
  
"Severus, can I see Harry? Please?"  
  
Snape smiled slightly and nodded.  
  
"He's really tired and malnourished, so be gentle with him, and don't overexcite him or anything. Just. . .be friendly."  
  
Draco nodded and smiled, his eyes slightly glazed. Snape noticed, but didn't say anything. He guessed they boy was just tired.  
  
Opening the door, Snape swished into his private chambers, Draco following him. Harry was lying on a fairly small and uncomfortable looking bed in the corner, looking barely alive. His face was white to the point of being translucent, with dark bruises from his former friends standing out sharply. His hair looked lank and greasy, and his cheekbones stood out prominently.  
  
Draco moved softly towards the bed, and whispered Harry's name. Harry opened one green eye, and then another, blinking.  
  
"Oh, hi, Draco", he said with very fake enthusiasm. He didn't feel like talking to anyone really. He was so ashamed of breaking down in front of Snape.  
  
"How're you feeling?"  
  
"Umm, not too bad thanks. How are classes? I suppose I'm really behind with work. I should ask Herm. . ."  
  
Harry broke off, his eyes darkening with sorrow. The loss of Hermione's friendship had hurt him badly.  
  
Awkwardly, Draco shifted slightly.  
  
"Well, you haven't missed that much. History of Magic is just as boring as normal. . .Sev's being horrendously unfair to everyone is potions. . .McGonagall is being a bitch and nearly crying every time she looks at your seat. . .Flitwick is. . .  
  
Horrible bastard! He is so famous, but you've done so much more than him, Draco. You should be the one worshipped by the whole wizarding world. What does he deserve? Nothing, except what he has had. Look at the way he saps Snape. He expects everyone to fall on their knees in front of him. He should be taught a lesson!  
  
The voice broke into his speech, inside his head, without warning. He frowned, not understanding what was happening, not understanding what was going on.  
  
"Flitwick. . .he, uh, he was saying. . .I guess. . .I can't remember."  
  
"Draco, are you alright?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine. I should go to my next lesson now. See you. . ."  
  
And with a swish of robes reminiscent of Snape, he was gone. Snape himself came back in the second Draco had left.  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"Umm, ok. Draco left awfully quickly. I must have missed so much work. . ."  
  
"Don't worry about that. It can't be helped. You will catch up, but the most important thing is to get well physically. I don't want you working yet."  
  
*******************************  
  
Eventually Snape got so fed up with Harry's incessant talking that he gave him a book of advanced spells and curses to read. It worked well, because soon Harry was engrossed in it.  
  
****************************  
  
Draco sat at the Slytherin table on his own, watching Hermione and Ron.  
  
Maybe you should talk to them said the voice in his head which seemed to blend in so well with his mind. After all, an argument has to work both ways. Maybe Potter provoked them. And the Mudblood is an excellent witch. She would be a good ally to have. . .  
  
Draco slithered over to the Gryffindor table.  
  
"May I?"  
  
Ron gaped at him, mouth full of swede. Draco wrinkled his nose, and sat down anyway.  
  
"To be blunt, I want to know why you are not talking to Potter. I want to know what happened."  
  
Hermione sighed gravely.  
  
"Ron's brother unearthed some very scary things about him over the summer. It was all being hushed up by the Ministry. And then. . ." she stopped, her eyes round and fearful.  
  
"Then what?"  
  
"He. . .hexed Ron on the bus!"  
  
At Malfoy Mansion, Lucius had to bite his lip to stop himself laughing.  
  
Draco raised an eyebrow.  
  
"How. . .terrifying." he murmered.  
  
Ron, who had now finished his mouthful, glared at Draco.  
  
"We heard that he was going to be accused of Diggory's death last summer, but they decided he was mentally unstable and not fit for trial. Apparently the Ministry didn't want a big scene about it. But there are files at the Ministry that say he killed previous people from his old muggle school. The facts are that he uses his friends for their best purpose and then dumps them.  
  
In the summer, he didn't write to me or Hermione. Then he was really grumpy on the train. We thought we should get away from him as soon as possible and warn the other Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws."  
  
Draco nodded thoughtfully.  
  
"Interesting."  
  
He got up, and swept out of the hall.  
  
Hermione bit her lip.  
  
"Should we have told him that, Ron?"  
  
Ron shrugged, looking angry.  
  
"I don't even want to think about him at the moment," he muttered, and began tucking into his potatoes.  
  
****************************  
  
Lucius rubbed his chin thoughtfully and threw on his mask and hood. The he apparated.  
  
*************************  
  
V.C.H  
  
"Malfoy."  
  
"My Lord. . .I have given the potion to. . .the boy. . ."  
  
"Which boy would that be, Lucius?"  
  
"Dr. . .Draco Malfoy, my Lord."  
  
"Ah," said Voldemort, smiling coldly. "I presume you found information of some interest for you to be bothering me?"  
  
"Yes, my lord. I have heard that Potter was to be put on trial for several murders. . ."  
  
"Crucio. Did you not think that I would have done my utmost to ruin his school life? I killed the boys from his muggle school, and left enough evidence to convince the ministry. Finite Incatatem."  
  
Malfoy got up, wincing, and glowering underneath his mask.  
  
"When shall I order D. . .Dr. . .Draco to lure Potter out of the school?"  
  
Voldemort considered the question for a moment.  
  
"Tomorrow, at 1.30pm precisely."  
  
"Yes my Lord," said Malfoy, with a sweeping bow.  
  
"Oh, and Malfoy?"  
  
"My Lord?"  
  
"What is Draco's surname?"  
  
"Mulff" mumbled the Death Eater.  
  
"Speak up!"  
  
"Malfoy, my Lord."  
  
"Hmm. You are related to the scum? I am disappointed in you, Malfoy."  
  
There was a few seconds silence while Malfoy waited to be hit with the Cruciatus, and then Voldemort snapped,  
  
"Well, what are you waiting for? Get out of my sight!"  
  
Malfoy apparated so quickly he almost splinched himself, but not quickly enough that he didn't hear Voldemort's last words.  
  
"It will be the last task you fail. . ." 


	19. Do You Care'

Harry woke up with a start, trembling. It had all been a dream. . .just a dream.  
  
But it was always a dream.  
  
One night he had dreamt that Snape had held him as he sobbed. But now the man was as cold as he always was, and it just seemed like a pleasant dream. Not that Harry had those in abundance. It had been too long since he had dreamt of his parents, in a nice way. The nightmares of them haunted him, and he couldn't put them out of his mind, however hard he tried.  
  
******************  
  
Snape watched the Potions class of Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws complete their potions well, for the most part. He was worried about Harry still. He wasn't putting on any weight at all, and barely spoke. Snape didn't want to think about how his relatives must have punished him for speaking out of turn, for the boy never said a word unless asked first.  
  
"Okay, everyone, that will do for today. Clean out your cauldrons and get out!"  
  
He stalked into the back room. As usual Harry was lying on his side, facing away from Snape.  
  
"For Merlin's sake, Potter, please try and act as though you are at least half-alive!"  
  
Harry flinched slightly and lowered his eyes which had darkened considerably.  
  
"I'm sorry sir. What would you like me to do?"  
  
Snape sighed.  
  
"I want you to act like life means something to you!"  
  
Bastard, bastard, bastard! What the hell should life mean to me? What do I have? I'm living with Snape, the Darkest Lord ever is trying to kill me, I have no friends and no family. And he has the nerve to tell me to act like I'm happy to be alive!  
  
"Yes sir. Sorry sir."  
  
Snape rolled his eyes. The boy wasn't so annoying now, as the fact he hadn't been throttled testified, but he still acted like a zombie and it annoyed Snape.  
  
Interrupting his thoughts, there was a tap at the door. Malfoy; Snape could tell by the way he knocked.  
  
"Come in"  
  
Malfoy came in, with a smile at Snape. He was carrying a pile of parchment, and he gave it to Harry, who's eyes lit up at the sight of the closest thing he had to a friend.  
  
"Hey Draco!"  
  
"Hi. How are you feeling?"  
  
"A bit better, thanks. . ."  
  
As Harry handed Malfoy a pile of finished homework, Snape wondered when he had done that.  
  
maybe you should spend some more time with him. Maybe you should give him something interesting to do?  
  
*I'm not a bloody childminder!*  
  
You were the one who volunteered to take him in. . .  
  
Draco stayed for a few minutes and then had to leave for his next lesson. Harry grinned and waved after his blonde friend until he was out of sight.  
  
********************  
  
The second Draco rounded the corner he slammed his fist into the wall.  
  
"Bloody Potter! Thinks he's so great. . .better than all of us normal mortals. . .it would serve him right if my Lord did crush him. . .he who controls all. . ."  
  
Draco jumped as he heard the footsteps behind him.  
  
"Your Lord, mister Malfoy? How. . .interesting. . ."  
  
**********************  
  
That evening, Snape cleared his throat as he entered his room.  
  
Silence.  
  
"Potter?"  
  
Silence  
  
He swished over to the bed, and shook the mattress. Nobody there.  
  
The bathroom. . .was locked.  
  
He sighed, thinking he would come back in a few moments, when Potter was finished. Then he thought again. . .  
  
"Pot-Harry!"  
  
He pressed his ear tot he door but all he could hear was ragged breathing.  
  
"Come out now, or I'll blast this door down!"  
  
"Okay, okay, calm down sir."  
  
The boy's voice was slightly slurred.  
  
There were staggering footsteps and the door opened. Harry looked. . .normal. . .if a little pale.  
  
"Show me your arms!"  
  
Harry winced at the angry tone, but rolled up his sleeves. His arms were crossed with scars, but no open cuts. Snape regarded him with emotionless black eyes for several moments. Then he gripped the top of Harry's arms hard. With a cry, Harry pulled away, his knees buckling. Snape could feel the warm blood under his fingers. Aware that his own hands were shaking slightly, he led Harry through to the main room where a fire was blazing.  
  
He sat the thin boy in the chair and banished his robes and jumper. He was far too skinny, his ribs jutting out from the pale skin. The bruises and cuts from his uncle were only just fading. On the top of his arms were several long gashes which bled heavily.  
  
Snape cast cleaning, healing and bandaging charms on them in silence and sat back on his heels, looking at Harry. They sat in silence for a few moments until Harry sighed slightly and shifted.  
  
Snape tilted the boys head up with a long pale finger and stared into his eyes.  
  
"Why did you do that, Harry?"  
  
"I. . .don't really know, sir."  
  
"Please, tell me the truth."  
  
Harry was silent for a long moment.  
  
"My bad dreams stay, and my good ones never last. There is blood in both of them. . .sometimes I can imagine that good things are even more solid than dreams. Anything good. . .that happens. . .is never real. . ."  
  
"For instance. . .?"  
  
Harry stuttered for a moment.  
  
"Me coming here, when I was 11. But it's all shit now. Nobody likes me. Sirius, being my godfather. . .but he hates me too. . .and. . ."  
  
"And what?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"What happened with your flea-bitt. . .Godfather?"  
  
"I. . .he was cross. . .he misses my father. . ."  
  
Snape sucked his breath in sharply. That idiot surely hadn't said. . .  
  
"James should be alive instead of me."  
  
"No! That's not true, Harry. You have just as much reason to be alive as anyone else."  
  
Harry just stared at him, the green eyes looking remarkably snake-like in the flickering firelight.  
  
It took Snape a good ten seconds to realise that Harry was crying. Tears rolled don his face, and blood issued from his mouth where he was biting his lip to stop himself sobbing.  
  
Despite himself, Snape crossed over to Harry and hugged him again, this time the tiny body wrapping around him.  
  
"I dreamt that you cared, sir. Please tell me it's true. . ."  
  
Snape swallowed.  
  
"sir?"  
  
"Harry. . .I'm not capable of caring. I'm. . ."  
  
He didn't get any further. Harry jumped up, and bolted.  
  
"Harry! Harry, come back!"  
  
"I can't get close," he murmered to himself, staring into the magical firelight. "Voldemort is going to kill anyone who I care for. In these times. . .there is only war and cumulation of wars." 


	20. New Skills

Harry ran blindly, some small part of his mind amazed at the energy he suddenly had. He was not aware of the tears rolling down his cheeks; nor the blood flowing down his arms. Finally, when he knew he was out of school, and out of sight, he slumped against a tree and closed his eyes.  
  
Snape didn't care.  
  
Of course he didn't. Why should he? He probably just felt sorry for Harry. Poor ickle boy. . .got whipped by his Uncle. . .for Merlin's sake, he was a wizard! Why in nine hells hadn't he just hexed Vernon into oblivion? Unable to stop himself, he shuddered at the thought of his uncle. He felt a long creeper reach soothingly over his shoulder. Devils Snare. He suppressed a tear at the memory of all his adventures with Ron and Hermione. They didn't care about him either.  
  
Suddenly, he realised that the Devil's Snare was strangling him, he reached for his wand; and felt nothing! That was odd; he kept it with him at all times, magically fastened to his wrist. He had found the strong sticking spell in a book in Snape's library, and immediately learnt it. But now he couldn't see it anywhere.  
  
His breathing was uneven now; he was starting to panic. Without thinking, he uttered the only spell he could think of, waving a hand at the plant.  
  
"Lumos!"  
  
A jet of blue light shot out of his hand, making the plant wither and wilt.  
  
That's odd he thought. I just did wandless magic. . .didn't know that was possible. . .and the light was blue! Why was that? I've never seen any blue light in magic before. . .  
  
Pensively, he settled back against the tree and thought.  
  
*********************  
  
Leave the wand, fool! If you are found with it, your secret will become known!  
  
Tutting at himself, Draco placed Harry's wand on the floor outside Snape's dungeon. If Snape didn't see it, Harry would.  
  
Good. Now go back to your room. Tomorrow must be planned with the utmost care. . .this success could bring about the end of Hogwarts, Harry Potter, and the muggle loving fool Dumbledore.  
  
*************************  
  
Snape knocked at Draco's door.  
  
"Mr Malfoy?"  
  
There was a shuffling and grumbling, and the door opened.  
  
"Professor?"  
  
Snape walked past Draco, into the room.  
  
"Have you seen Harry?"  
  
"No. . ."  
  
"He took off about ten minutes ago, I thought I should give him time to calm down a bit. But he's still not back, and I wondered if he came here. . ."  
  
Snape actually cares! My Lord will be interested to hear of this. But. . .if the Potter boy is alone and in the forest, he is vulnerable. . .maybe tonight. . .  
  
Snape started suddenly  
  
"He's there!"  
  
Damn!  
  
"Mr MALFOY! Have you been listening to me?"  
  
"Um, no sorry sir, I'm just a bit tired. . ."  
  
Snape frowned at the Slytherin as he swept out of the room. Something was wrong. . .something he couldn't quite identify.  
  
*******************  
  
He arrived back at his office quickly, still thinking about Draco. The glazed look on his face; his shortness with Harry. . .it all added up to something, but he didn't know what.  
  
He had a feeling that Harry would have gone straight to bed, and knew that he should talk to the boy and explain. His musings on how to approach Harry were interrupted when he walked into the boy.  
  
He stepped back a little, surveying his charge.  
  
"You look like hell"  
  
Harry smiled weakly. Snape was just about to tell him to sit down before he fell, when Harry spoke.  
  
"How rare is wandless magic?"  
  
"How rare is *what*?"  
  
Harry flinched at his tone, but mumbled doggedly,  
  
"Wandless magic. Magic that you do without a wand. . ."  
  
"There's no such thing, as far as I know. Other than accidental magic. . .but that can't be controlled. If such thing as wandless magic existed, all wizards would be taught it as soon as possible. . .in these times, especially, you are is deep trouble without a wand. Why do you ask?"  
  
Harry chose his words carefully.  
  
"What if it was a rare gift. . .as rare as parseltongue. . ."  
  
Snape gaped at harry, and abruptly shut his mouth. He put a gentle hand on Harry's shoulder.  
  
"You've had a long day, Harry. I think you're just over tired. Maybe you should get some rest, and I'll answer the rest of your questions in the morning, ok?"  
  
Harry nodded, a glint in his eye.  
  
"I'll just brush my teeth then," he said, holding out a hand. "Accio toothbrush!"  
  
The toothbrush (black, of course) flew out of the bathroom into his hand in a flash of blue light. Snape sank into a chair, gaping again.  
  
"How many charms can you do that with?"  
  
"Any, I think."  
  
"Curses?"  
  
"Petrificus Totalis!"  
  
Snape's eyes moved into a ferocious glare and Harry wilted slightly, finishing the spell.  
  
Snape was silent for a moment, and then walked over to look out of the window. Dumbledore was wandering around the edge of the Forbidden Forest looking worried. The blue light from Harry's last spell wound around a large Devil's Snare, which Dumbledore was examining. Snape was unsurprised by the Headmasters worry. It had obviously been a strong spell, cast by a wizard stronger then any of them could have known.  
  
He looked at Harry, sleeping peacefully for once - the magic must have exhausted him - and decided it would be safe to leave him while he talked to the Headmaster.  
  
********************  
  
Draco searched in the darkness to make out the face of the man facing him. After he had found Draco mumbling to the wall they had gone to an unused classroom where the man assured him his privacy would be safe. The man, apparently, had been sent by Voldemort to ensure his servant was being loyal in every way.  
  
"You will be well rewarded for this, master Malfoy," said the man, who's voice Draco thought he recognised faintly from somewhere. "You will be the second in command of the new generation of Death Eaters, if your loyalty and courage continues in this way."  
  
Draco preened slightly, and nodded to the stranger.  
  
"Thank you sir."  
  
"Now. . .about the plan. I have news for you. . ."  
  
******************************  
  
Snape came back, rubbing his nose thoughtfully. Dumbledore had been amazed to hear of Harry's talent and wanted to see the boy at the next possible opportunity. Snape couldn't help but feel he was using Harry as a tool to be discarded after use and left to rust until it was needed again. But still. . .he should get the boy.  
  
"Harry?"  
  
"oh Merlin!"  
  
Snape took off at a run, not even locking the doors behind him.  
  
Harry was gone. 


	21. The Forbidden Forest and Beyond

Harry rolled over. He had a feeling that learning wandless magic was something to keep as quiet as possible. While Snape had been gone he had tried some of the more. . .destructive. . .curses he knew on small transfigured animals. It was quite terrifying, the amount of power he had. Now he didn't even have to speak an incantation to do things. In fact, he could just will things to happen. For instance, if he decided that that little hedgehog splattered on a wall should in fact be whole and happy, he just had to imagine it to be, and with a *thwap* the hedgehog's intestine's righted themselves.  
  
He heard footsteps in the corridor outside and hastily un-splattered little creatures he had been inventing curses on from the walls. There was the inverso spell, which basically turned something inside out. Then, a rather nasty one that Harry had invented and named ludicrus. It had pretty much the same effect as human LSD; making the wizard experience their worst fear, with sensations and everything. And finally, the worst in some ways, a depleto charisma charm which sucked the magic out of a wizard and turned them into a muggle. They would have the memory of knowing magic, but no ability, and no skills in anything involving magic.  
  
For wizards like Malfoy, who scorned and derided muggles and squibs, it was a nightmare.  
  
It would be funny as hell.  
  
The footsteps were coming closer now. For some reason, they made Harry uneasy; they didn't sound like Snape's footsteps, but the man put such strong charms on his doors, it would be impossible to break them down. . .unless you had found out the password. . .  
  
Frowning, Harry cast an invisibility charm over himself, and waited in the corridor.  
  
*********************************  
  
Draco entered the room, eyes slowly growing accustomed to the gloom. He didn't want to draw attention, just in case. . .Snape suspected something, and arrangements had been brought forward a day. So now he was to bring Potter to his Lord. Truly, the greatest task a Death Eater could accomplish.  
  
******************************  
  
Harry felt the door open and saw Draco come through. He cleared his throat, and Draco jumped.  
  
"Huh. . .what. . .?"  
  
"I'm invisible. Snape'll be back in 10 minutes."  
  
"Harry, we don't have that much time! A group of Gryffindors are coming for you! They've found out the password!"  
  
Harry uncast the charm, and materialised before Draco's eyes, looking concerned.  
  
"Look, Po-Harry, we don't have time to call a teacher! We need to get into the forest"  
  
Harry nodded, and swept out of the room, Draco following him.  
  
"Thanks, Draco, for telling me," said Harry. "I would have been in deep trouble lots of times if it weren't for you. So thanks. You've been a good friend."  
  
Had Harry been looking, he would have seen Draco's face shift slightly. With guilt?  
  
"No. . .that's ok. . .I'm not that great a person."  
  
"No, I mean it. I know that Voldemort could come for me at any time, but I believe that you will help me when the time comes. I feel like I can trust you."  
  
This time, the guilt on Draco's face was unmistakable.  
  
What if I kill him? What if he was the only person who could defeat Voldemort?  
  
{Voldemort if your Lord. You are doing the right thing. Keep walking, my little Dragon. . .}  
  
My little Dragon?  
  
The two boys had just passed Hagrid's hut. Harry was walking swiftly a few paces in front of Draco.  
  
My. . .little. . .Dragon. . .my father. . .  
  
Just as Harry stepped inside the forest, Draco screamed "No!"  
  
"Harry, stop, it's a trap! It's. . ."  
  
The Slytherin froze like a statue. Harry turned, his green eyes cold.  
  
They were surrounded by Death Eaters.  
  
*******************************  
  
Snape hurtled towards Dumbledore's office, gasping out the password. A solid shape collided with him and they both fell to the ground. Both Dumbledore and Snape looked at each other and then, simultaneously, both exclaimed,  
  
"Harry's in trouble!"  
  
***************************  
  
"Okay," said Harry, his voice steady. "So what happens now? Are you going to kill me slowly, or get it over with?"  
  
Lucius Malfoy smiled evilly, and unfroze his son.  
  
"Why don't you tell him, my little Dragon?"  
  
"It will be the greatest gift I can give. . .that. . .he. . .my lord. . .I. . .I do not support Voldemort!"  
  
Liquid began to seep out of Draco's skin, splashing to the floor.  
  
"Bubotuber pus containing the Imperius curse. Snape's greatest invention. How. . .unoriginal of you, Malfoy" spat Harry, glaring.  
  
He reached for his wand, and quickly untied Draco, yelling at him to run, whilst simultaneously sending jets of boiling oil and fire shooting across the clearing. The Death Eaters panicked for a moment, giving Draco the chance to run away. But then. . .  
  
"Crucio!"  
  
Harry slumped to the ground, trying to fight off the pain.  
  
I can't feel it. . .it doesn't hurt. . .it's all my imagination. . .Merlin! It doesn't hurt!  
  
Harry was wondering whether to pretend to be in agony and then run for it, when he felt a rough hand pushing a portkey into his, and with a jerk he disappeared.  
  
******************************  
  
"Sev! Sev! Sev, where are you?"  
  
Draco sprinted through the corridors. He was dimly aware of knocking Granger flat, and getting a detention from McGonagall.  
  
"Sev! Severus bloody Salazar Snape, where the hell are you?"  
  
"Draco! Harry's disappeared!"  
  
"Yes, I know, Voldemort has him! They've portkeyed him somewhere. . .it's such a long story. . ."  
  
But Snape had already gone.  
  
********************************  
  
Harry curled up on the ground, his scar burning.  
  
He felt as though an invisible hand was raising him, and when he opened his eyes through the tears of pain, he realised he was floating. Voldemort had grown. The magic radiated from his very essence; a stench of evil. The serpentine wizard was still skeletally thin, but at least 7ft tall.  
  
"Crucio!"  
  
This time it didn't hurt at all, though Harry kept writhing and screaming. Voldemort laughed, and Harry wriggled and yelled even harder. Until suddenly the laughter stopped, and Harry realised the wand was no longer pointing at him.  
  
"Ah, so you can nullify 2 of the Unforgivables?" said Voldemort.  
  
The Death Eaters around him looked shocked and a little horrified.  
  
"well then. . .we must figure out a way to really make you scream. Must we not, my loyal Death Eaters?"  
  
As Harry's stomach lurched, the Death Eaters moved in, grinning evilly behind their masks.  
  
"We will make you scream, Mr Potter. Oh yes, you will beg for death when we have finished. . ." 


	22. In The Clutches Of Death

Okay, under threat of being trampled by rabid flying penguins (Riverlady) and out of excitement that I'm going to see COS tonight - EEEEEEeeeeeEEE!! - here's the update which I wasn't even going to write until Monday.  
  
Consider yourselves blessed (  
  
*************************************************  
  
Harry tried to stop himself from panicking as the Death Eaters closed in. Over the deathly silence, Voldemort was speaking.  
  
"I hate muggles and muggle borns, and our aim is to kill as many as possible. However, there is a little irony here, one that surely will not escape my guest here.  
  
You see, muggles, in the absence of magic, have invented the most fantastic methods of torture. More exruciating than the cruciatus; more overwhelming to the mind than the imperius; and slower than Avada Kedavra.  
  
Muggles are indeed fascinating creatures, with such a long history of various tortures. So tonight, we will hold a special. . .party. . .for our quarter muggle friend. Maybe. . .maybe he will remember some of these tricks."  
  
Suddenly, Harry thought he knew what was going to happen, and felt bile rise in his throat.  
  
think of spells; think of your patronus; think of anything, anything, just not that, please god not that, please, no, no, no!  
  
With an evil smile, the Death Eater nearest to him reached out a long hand and wrenched down his jeans, causing the hems to cut his legs open.  
  
Harry mind went blank, unable to think of anything sensible.  
  
Oh merlin, make it stop. . .  
  
************************* AN I have no intentions of EVER writing a rape scene. . . ***************************  
  
Snape and Dumbledore had been talking - yelling - for nearly ten minutes and they had no idea where Harry could be. And then Draco appeared.  
  
"They. . .took him to the cave in Hogsmeade. . .I. . .only just found out. . ."  
  
Snape put a hand on Draco's shoulder.  
  
"Breathe, Draco. Now tell me, when did they go?"  
  
"About ten minutes ago."  
  
"We. . .might be too late, Albus."  
  
"No, he is still alive. If he dies. . .terrible things will happen. We have to save him, at any cost."  
  
****************************  
  
Harry lolled, trying to slip into unconsciousness, but it wasn't working. Voldemort knew everything that had happened over that summer, and was taking delight in replaying it in front of Harry's eyes. There was nothing Harry could do to make it stop; the images flashed in his mind, making him feel dizzy and sick.  
  
And then Voldemort made his mistake.  
  
"Potter. . .you want it to all go away, don't you?. . .you want everything to disappear. I always swore I would kill you, but I think it would be a nice little irony to let you do it yourself. So, here's your tool. I will send pictures to the Ministry."  
  
He put on a mocking voice.  
  
"The tragic death of Mr Harry Potter. The Saviour of the Wizarding world is no more. The Boy-Who-Lived wished he didn't. . .so here's your chance, Mr Potter. You can break the mould of your family. You can end it on your own terms."  
  
Harry looked at the dagger swimming in front of his eyes. It would be so easy, so quick, so painless. . .  
  
He reached out and grasped the wooden handle, thoughts of his Aunt and Uncle flying through his mind.  
  
He drew a line across his arm, saw the blood flow out, felt the rush of pain.  
  
And came to his senses.  
  
*******************************  
  
Dumbledore had never looked so old or helpless. They had apparated to the cave, but it was deserted. Either Draco had lied, or he had been wrong. . .fed the wrong information. . .  
  
"It was the potion that I made for Voldemort! Lucius has been controlling Draco!"  
  
Dumbledore sighed.  
  
"That still doesn't tell us how we can find Harry though."  
  
Then there was a bang; the two wizards dived to the ground, wands out, as the unconscious bodies of 3 Death Eaters sailed over the mouth of the cave and landed in a heap at the bottom.  
  
*******************************  
  
As he saw the blood, he felt suddenly alive. The Death Eaters were grinning manically.  
  
"Expelliarmus Altus Pluris!"  
  
The Death Eaters around him flew into the air, with a stronger variant of the expelliarmus spell knocking them all flying in one go.  
  
"Stupefy pluris!"  
  
Bellowed Harry and the Flying Death Eaters lost consciousness.  
  
"Very impressive" said Voldemort, looking genuinely nervous.  
  
"Avada Kedavra!"  
  
The green light passed straight through Voldemort as the Dark Wizard stood and laughed. Every evil spell Harry threw at him passed straight through until Harry was exhausted. He was naked, bleeding and bruised. Now, he wanted to die. But he had to kill Voldemort first.  
  
He closed his eyes waiting for the rush of death, willing himself to die quickly. As he shut his eyes, he imagined a world where there were no Death Eaters, no Voldemort, no Voldemort, no Voldemort. Voldemort was dead, he didn't exist, he could never come back to life.  
  
Harry felt the blue light gathering around him, and mustering all his energy, silently, he thrust his arms out towards Voldemort, palms facing his nemesis. Blue light shot out, striking Voldemort, building up, and making him swell; and then with a hiss, he disintegrated into nothingness, all his magical transformations nullified.  
  
White light rippled out from his dead body, sucking up all his magic, and flooding the clearing.  
  
The last things Harry thought was,  
  
'I want to go home. But I don't know where my home is.'  
  
**************************  
  
Dumbledore was just about to unmask the final Death Eater when there was a blinding flash of white light. The scent of Dark Magic was tangible in the air, but. . .it was fading slowly. . .and then with a very girly sounding yelp, Snape held out his forearm.  
  
The Dark Mark was gone.  
  
Suddenly Snape said,  
  
"Who is the third Death Eater? I know them all; he is not one I recognise."  
  
Dumbledore bowed his head.  
  
"I am afraid I think I know him well. I never guessed that he would take this path."  
  
He pulled off the hood, and Snape gasped.  
  
"Weasley!"  
  
*************************  
  
Harry didn't know how much later it was when he awoke. He was cold, the night air freezing him slowly. He couldn't see anything through the darkness, but he could hear voices.  
  
"Harry! Harry! Where are you? Can you hear us, Harry?"  
  
The voices sounded tired, as though they had been calling for hours. Then he could hear muttering, getting closer.  
  
"Severus, I think we've lost him. He can't possibly be alive in these temperatures."  
  
The voices were coming towards him, Harry wanted to call out. He heard a thud as either Snape or Dumbledore kicked a Death Eater's body out of the way. They must have scattered a long way.  
  
"He can't be gone, Albus. It's not fair!"  
  
Snape's voice sounded thick and angry.  
  
Closer, closer.  
  
"Severus! Stop!"  
  
Snape stopped and looked down. There was a body on the ground; but this was no Death Eater!  
  
"Harry?"  
  
Harry shifted and looked up at the two professors.  
  
Wordlessly, Snape took off his cloak and wrapped it around Harry. He lifted the frail boy in his arms, and apparated him back to Hogwarts. 


	23. After The Battle

Darkness.  
  
He couldn't move.  
  
He felt like someone had put iron rods through all his bones and was beginning to heat them.  
  
"We will make you scream, Mr Potter"  
  
Voldemort.  
  
The Death Eaters; the memories; the knife.  
  
So he was dead?  
  
There was a dry sob, from somewhere to his left. He forced his eyes to open and groaned with the pain it caused. He couldn't reach for his glasses, but the shock of red hair in the chair next to him led him to realise who it was.  
  
"Ron?"  
  
Ron looked up abruptly.  
  
"Oh Harry! You're awake! I'm. . .I'm so sorry!"  
  
And with that he burst into tears again.  
  
"I. . .I was such a. . .a bastard and. . .I never realised. . .it was all his fault. . .I'm so sorry, Harry, I'm so sorry!"  
  
"Ron? What are you talking about?"  
  
"I was so mean to you, and it was Percy's fault. . .he was Death Eater, Harry, and we never realised, and I believed everything he told me, and it's all my fault, and I'm so sorry, and. . ."  
  
"SHUT UP!" bellowed Harry, and immediately fell back against the pillows. He continued in a softer voice,  
  
"Family is the strongest bond. I would probably have done the same in your position. Don't blame yourself, Ron, mate, it wasn't your fault. The only person to blame is Voldemort."  
  
"And YOU KILLED HIM!" Ron was now beaming, tears still running down his freckled face. Harry was unable to hide his smile.  
  
"And you, Mr Weasley, are depriving the Boy-Who-Incessantly-Lives of his much needed sleep" came a silky voice. With a startled squeak, Ron disappeared, with a muffled "See ya Harry. . .I'm really sorry. . ."  
  
Snape sat in Ron's vacated place and set his inscrutable eyes upon Harry.  
  
"How do you feel?"  
  
"I just got my best friend back. I feel. . .better."  
  
Snape nodded, and Harry looked more closely at him.  
  
"How about you, sir? Are you alright?"  
  
Snape smiled, again, genuinely.  
  
"I must confess to being tired, and not a little hung over. The festivities carried on into the early hours of this morning. . .and the battle was nearly a week ago. I have been busy preparing hangover remedies, not least for your Godfather."  
  
Harry's smile faltered a bit and Snape sighed.  
  
"They all feel terrible, Harry. Mr Weasley in particular, although it was not his fault, is taking full responsibility for the boy who was his brother."  
  
At Harry's confused look, he explained.  
  
"The Weasley family disowned Percy after he admitted to everything under Veritaserum. Then he was given the Dementor's Kiss."  
  
Harry shuddered involuntarily. It was a horrible fate. But then again. . .  
  
"He was sending Voldemort information about the school, wasn't he?"  
  
Snape nodded.  
  
"But, truthfully, Harry, how are you feeling? I know you're not fine, and you'll need to tell someone what happened."  
  
Harry sighed, and turned over so his back was facing Snape.  
  
"I was all alone. They did what they liked to me, and I was all alone. I don't have to answer to any of you."  
  
And Snape couldn't get another answer out of him.  
  
*********************************  
  
Madam Pomfrey refused to let anyone in to see Harry. She was worried about him. He was refusing food, and was reluctant to let her heal him. His eyes were dull and he didn't even talk anymore. Basically he seemed to have no need to live.  
  
Dumbledore had been to see him; so had McGonagall, Sprout, Flitwick, and pretty much every member of staff. Some had left red eyed, some looking shocked, but none with a smile. Madam Pomfrey herself had tried to talk to him; to find out what happened, but he had answered in monosyllables and finally turned away, signalling the close of the conversations. The only amusing thing that had happened in the Hospital Wing was Trelawny coming to tell Harry she had known that all of this would happen. Without blinking he sent her flying headfirst, literally, out of the Hospital Wing. She had landed in her Tower, blinked in confusion, and said, "Oh, of course, I had forseen that."  
  
*************************  
  
Dumbledore sat in his office, regarding Snape over the rim of his favourite teacup.  
  
"Severus, the boy is wasting away! He will not speak to us, he will not accept medical attention or even food. He will die soon, if he doesn't snap out of this!"  
  
Snape bowed his head.  
  
"Everyone has been to see him. He will not explain what happened; not to Weasley or Granger, not to Malfoy or me, not to anyone. I've tried being gentle, threatening, pleading. I have no idea what to do, Albus!"  
  
Dumbledore stroked his beard thoughtfully.  
  
"Then. . .we must resort to force."  
  
That night, Madam Pomfrey knocked Harry out and forced food into him using magic. Snape couldn't bring himself to watch. The grisly routine went on for nearly a week. Then one day as Snape came in, Harry looked at him.  
  
"They've been force-feeding me, haven't they?"  
  
Snape couldn't bring himself to lie to Harry. Looking at the floor, he nodded wordlessly. There was a crash as a painting behind Snape hit the floor, and Harry spat angrily,  
  
"I killed bloody Voldemort! I've been handling an adults responsibility for as long as I can bloody well remember, so why can't you all just treat me like an adult when I want you to?"  
  
"Harry. . .if it was anyone else, it would be the same, no matter how old they were."  
  
Harry looked scornfully at him.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
**************************  
  
When Harry went to the bathroom the next morning to carry out his old ritual of throwing up and cutting himself, he had a nasty shock. His wand was gone, and there were no sharp objects. He went to smash the mirror with his fist, but it was either unbreakable or he was too weak. Probably the former. Then, he couldn't throw up. He supposed Madam Pomfrey had slipped him an anti-nausea potion.  
  
Feeling depressed and with no way of alleviating it, he sank back into bed and fell asleep.  
  
**********************  
  
Snape looked sadly at Harry's wand which lay on his table. They couldn't let Harry have it, because he was certain to use it to hurt or kill himself. But maybe there was a way. A risky way. . .but a way none the less.  
  
**********************  
  
Harry lay staring at the ceiling. Due to bed rest, his nails were long and he had used them to gouge strips of flesh from his arms. The pain felt good, oh so good.  
  
Suddenly there were footsteps, and Harry tensed. Footsteps at night were not good when you lived with the Dursleys. But it was just Snape.  
  
"Harry? Are you awake?"  
  
Harry nodded shortly.  
  
"I want to make a deal with you."  
  
Harry looked at him for a moment.  
  
"I don't actually want to kill myself, you know. I just want things to be like they were."  
  
Snape looked sadly at Harry.  
  
"I believe you, harry, but we can't let you have your wand back. . ."  
  
He didn't like the glint in Harry's eye.  
  
"Oh, but you can, sir. See?" He held out his hand and Snape's wand zoomed into it. "It may not be my own. . .but it will work, to all intents and purposes."  
  
Snape swallowed. The boy who had defeated Voldemort was holding his own wand to Snape's head, and looking murderous.  
  
Oh shit.  
  
********************************  
  
I write this under threat of. . . gangrene-infected purple zebras that will bombard me with blue pancakes this time, apparently. The film was incredible, so much better than the first. 2 best points:  
  
-Lucius Malfoy, played by Jason Isaacs, is amazing. And lovely, lovely hair!  
  
-Ron is so much funnier than in the first film. He has some much better lines too.  
  
Bad points:  
  
-Harry had BLUE EYES! I'm sure he did!  
  
-Tom Riddle was wearing RAVENCLAW robes. Jesus, can these guys not read, or am I going colour blind? (I'm not, because everyone else in the cinema was talking about it. Maybe it was the screen - how can they be THAT thick?) 


	24. Harry and Sev talk

AN ahhhhh!! The pink monkeys with vanilla ice-cream bombs are coming!!! (I might make this into an epic just to see how many threats Riverlady can come up with!)  
  
******************************  
  
Snape looked at the wand pointing at his forehead. He was sure he had been inworse situations than this, but he couldn't think of one.  
  
His eyes travelled along the wand, and up Harry's skinny arm. The boy was shaking, his green eyes looking lost and vulnerable, but his hand was steady.  
  
Anything could have happened, though Snape refused to use violence, when the door banged open.  
  
"Harry! What on earth are you doing?"  
  
Snape groaned inwardly. That stupid Granger girl again. He would swear she was half-Banshee.  
  
Harry rolled his eyes.  
  
"Feel free to come in, Hermione. I'm sure you're not interrupting anything. . ."  
  
"Harry! You were about to kill a teacher! Do you have any idea how much trouble. . ."  
  
"That will do, Miss Granger."  
  
". . .you could have got into, you could have been expelled, don't you ever think, what if. . ."  
  
"HOLD YOUR TONGUE, MISS GRANGER!" bellowed Snape. Harry, wand dropped on the floor, sunk into the bedclothes, shaking and wild-eyed.  
  
"Now. I was under the illusion that only members of staff were permitted to be here at all, let alone after curfew. Go back to your dormitory this second! And twenty points from Gryffindor."  
  
With a squeak, Hermione fled, and Snape turned back to Harry. Or rather, the quivering hump in the bed that was Harry.  
  
"Harry. . .I won't make you a deal now. Because. . .what I was going to say was unfair. You don't need that choice."  
  
"What were you going to offer me?"  
  
"Death. At a price."  
  
He had not expected Harry to be shocked, and so wasn't surprised at the blank look on Harry's face.  
  
"What would the price have been?"  
  
"I wanted. . .want. . .to know what happened with the Death Eaters."  
  
"Why? They've gone now. Voldemort's gone."  
  
Snape could have cried at the flat tone of Harry's voice.  
  
"This is for you, Harry! How are you going to live for the future when you can't even face the past?"  
  
He instantly regretted his harsh tone of voice. Harry looked him in the eye, green orbs blazing.  
  
"Why the fuck should I want to live in the present or future? If you had any idea, any idea at all, you wouldn't be saying that."  
  
"Well ok, tell me then! Don't keep me in suspense!"  
  
Snape knew he was being unreasonable. He expected Harry to hex him, or ignore him. But not this:  
  
"Ok. I'll tell you. They raped me. They fucked me until I couldn't breathe, until everything had dissolved into terror. They took it in turns. Voldemort sat watching, and reminding me of. . .of when the Dursleys raped me. Or at least, my uncle. My aunt and cousin watched. Voldemort reminded me of everything that had gone wrong, and gave me a knife so I could kill myself. I. . .cut my wrist. . .and sort of woke up, and killed him. Happy?"  
  
Even Harry was shocked by Snape's reaction. The wizard clenched his fists, his teeth grinding. A painting over his head shattered and he growled,  
  
"I'm going for a walk."  
  
Harry could hear the smash of things breaking all the way down the hall.  
  
*************************************  
  
AN ok ok its short. . .but I'm scared of the monkeys and riverlady so here it is. Im sorry! (sobs in shame) I have so much work! All this maths coursework, and everyone written 18 pages plus, and I have. . .2. . .which I thought was all I'd need. God school sucks! 


	25. Draco and Sirius

Snape stormed back to his quarters steaming - literally. He had felt the resignation coming off harry in waves as he talked about those Death Eaters. And what had Harry said? That Voldemort kept reminding him of his Muggle relatives. Did that mean they had. . .raped him? Snape, hardened Death Eater that he was, shuddered at the thought.  
  
It was the first time he had been to his rooms since the night after the blast of light had announced the total destruction of Voldemort's body and soul, and he was unpleasantly reminded of the festivities.  
  
His entire room was decked out in red, yellow, blue and lime green. Not very Slytherin. Not very anything, for that matter, except tasteless in the extreme. Black's work, of course. Stupid canine bastard. Bitch? Better not go there.  
  
Blasting down his door with a strong hex, Snape entered his bedroom and squealed in horror mingled with shock and fury.  
  
Sirius Black was lying naked on his bed!  
  
**********************  
  
Draco heard his mentor's screams, and rushed to investigate. He found Dumbledore in paroxysms of laughter on the stone floor, while Snape glowered menacingly.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
Dumbledore, unable to speak for laughing, pointed weakly towards Snape's bedroom, before collapsing into uncontrollable chuckles again.  
  
Draco's reaction was more like Snape's - until he realised that if that was really Sirius Black, the Dementors would be there, and Dumbledore wouldn't be laughing. He suddenly realised what it was. A clever transfiguration, probably by McGonagall. But how she knew what Black looked like without his clothes on, Draco really didn't want to think about. Ugh!  
  
***************************  
  
5 minutes later, when Draco had gone and Dumbledore had calmed himself, he finally asked the younger wizard what had happened.  
  
"Severus. . .dare I ask why the entire route from your dungeons to the infirmary is strewn with broken pictures, vases and frozen ghosts?"  
  
"I was angry"  
  
"Yes. . .I could imagine that from the way you'd nearly knocked some walls clean out of the way!"  
  
Snape shifted slightly in his seat.  
  
"Albus, they raped him, the Death Eaters. . .and I think his guardians might have as well. He's just so dead inside. And I don't even mean dead like, 'Death is the next great adventure'. I mean, dead like Dementors Kiss dead."  
  
Dumbledore winced slightly.  
  
"Severus, you may well be the only person not to see it, but you are the one he trusts. The staff care deeply about him, but in all the time he has been here he has never really opened up to any of us. I think you are the only one who can reach him now."  
  
Snape sighed, suddenly looking more human than he had for many years.  
  
"I blew it, Albus. He asked me if I cared about him, and I couldn't answer him. It wasn't safe for a true Death Eater to care about anyone, that's how Lucius became such a great Death Eater. What sort of parent would use an Unforgivable on his son to kill his son's friend? But if it's dangerous for a true Death Eater to care, what about a spy? What if I had been found out and questioned under Veritaserum? I could have killed him, Albus. But then he was gone before I could tell him, and he could have been killed. He nearly killed himself, Albus. Voldemort offered him a knife, and he took it."  
  
At this, Snape could no longer contain himself, and broke down into tears.  
  
"What if he'd died, Albus? What if he'd died, and it had all been my fault?"  
  
Dumbledore shook his head and handed Snape a sherbet lemon.  
  
"He didn't die, and he isn't going to. You obviously do care, so go back to the infirmary and talk to him."  
  
Snape nodded, briskly drying off his eyes.  
  
"Will you have a chamber put down here for him? Actually no, I think he would be better staying with Draco."  
  
Dumbledore looked slightly uncertain.  
  
"Are you sure the effects of the potion of Draco have worn off?"  
  
Snape nodded firmly.  
  
"Lucius has had the Kiss, so there is nobody who can control him with that batch now, and I gave him the counter potion. All traces seem to have been removed from his system now. I think Harry and Draco will do each other a lot of good."  
  
******************  
  
Harry woke up, trying to focus on something, but he obviously didn't have his glasses on. Well, what was the point? He had no dignity left now. He had been beaten and raped by both muggles and wizards. He had been rejected by both races. What did he have to live for?  
  
Gentle hands put his glasses on his nose, startling him momentarily. He couldn't be bothered to look up at the owner of the hands, but noticed that they were soft and cool, and smelt of herbs.  
  
"Come on Harry"  
  
"Harry didn't reply.  
  
"Harry, I'm sure you don't want to be stuck here any longer than you have to. . ." there was a pause, and a soft chuckle. "Especially considering the amount of time you must spend here already, what with quidditch and saving the world and all that. So, do you fancy a change of scenery?"  
  
Harry shrugged listlessly, and strong arms lifted him effortlessly off the bed. His head lolled onto the dark clad chest, and he could hear the man's heart-beat under the black robes. Surely. . .surely Snape must hate him. Because Harry was such a nuisance.  
  
But if Snape hated him, why was he carrying him so gently?  
  
***************************  
  
Harry must have dozed off, because the next thing he remembered was being laid on a soft bed. The same, cool hand brushed his hair off his head and remained over the scar for a second, before removing itself. Then Harry fell into a deep sleep, from which he didn't waken for several days.  
  
****************************  
  
Draco watched the sleeping boy with mingled feelings. He felt pity, for the Boy Who Had Had To Live with constant pressure. He felt a strange sort of relief that Harry was sleeping, so he couldn't think about all that had happened, and anger at the Death Eaters. Back at the castle, he had seen through his fathers eyes all that they had done to Harry, and all the taunts that had been thrown at him.  
  
But most of all, Draco Malfoy felt shame; shame that he, the one person Harry had trusted, had betrayed him.  
  
How much did that put him above a Death Eater?  
  
Draco felt tears slide down his cheeks. Though few people knew it, being a Death Eater had been something he had fought against almost all of his life, though it had cost him his family and friends. And now he had let down harry, and everyone would ostracise him again, thinking he was a Death Eater.  
  
He had to leave. For good.  
  
Hands clammy with sweat, he summoned the knife that he kept under his pillow; a way of self-defence should anything happen to his wand. He moved into the bathroom, numbly staring at his pale face, not even caring when he stubbed his toe painfully on the cabinet, causing the bottles there to rock precariously. Merlin, he was scared, so scared. . .he wanted someone to stop him, but he knew nobody would come, and he knew that he had to do this for himself.  
  
Shutting his eyes, he felt the blade dig into his arm and blood start running almost instantaneously. He made several deep gashes on either arm before the darkness overcame him and he slumped against the wall, losing consciousness.  
  
**********************  
  
A thud and rattle awoke Harry. He opened a bleary eye and looked around. Almost immediately he heard a quiet hiss of pain, and smelled the reek of wizards blood. Getting up, unsteadily, he made his was to the bathroom where Draco was lying, bleeding, dying. With a soft curse Harry staggered to Draco's side and grasped the boys wrists, not really knowing what he was doing. He began to feel cold and shivery and dizzy, but the blood was stopping and running back up Draco's arms, into the cuts.  
  
With a moan, Draco woke up, just as Harry passed out. He looked down at the almost-healed cuts on his arms, and then at Harry who had fallen asleep, probably from exhaustion, with one arm around Draco's shoulder and the other grasping Draco's wrist. Draco gently disentangled the hand on his wrist but let Harry stay where he was.  
  
Soon he would have to go and find Sev, and tell him what had happened. Until then, he was happy to just sit with Harry.  
  
Maybe, just maybe, there was a light at the end of the tunnel. 


	26. Repercussions

Draco awoke nearly an hour later, his neck and back aching. Next to him, someone gave a small murmur and he jumped, looking suspiciously around. When he saw it was just Harry he relaxed and smiled a little.  
  
He had changed a lot since he had renounced the Death Eaters. The old Draco would never have smiled, but now he did. Simply because he felt like smiling. And there was no Voldemort to prevent his smile.  
  
Harry was waking now, moving around slightly. Draco unhappily walked over to the fireplace and tossed in a handful of floo powder.  
  
"Professor Snape?"  
  
Snape's head popped into the fireplace looking anxious.  
  
"Is everything alright, Draco?"  
  
"Yes sir, I was just hoping you could come and see Harry?"  
  
With another pop Snape appeared in the room.  
  
"Merlin! What happened?" he exclaimed running over to where Harry was semi- unconscious in a pool of blood.  
  
Draco silently cursed. He had been going to keep his suicide attempt a secret, now that his arms were healed, but the blood on the parquet floor would be quite hard to explain.  
  
"Um, I think it would be best if Harry told you that" he stalled. Suspicion written all over his face, Snape lifted Harry and carried him through to the bedroom.  
  
"Draco, you should go to your next lesson"  
  
Draco nodded and left.  
  
*******************************  
  
"Enervate"  
  
Harry blinked and the face of Snape swam into view above him.  
  
"Pro. . .professor. . ."  
  
"What happened last night, Harry?"  
  
"I. . .I think I was sleeping, and I heard a noise. I went into the bathroom and Draco. . ."  
  
Harry stopped and then frowned. Snape was dumbstruck.  
  
"Oh Merlin" breathed Harry, "He didn't tell you?"  
  
"No. . .I saw the blood and just assumed. . ."  
  
"I don't know why he did it, but I healed him somehow, then I think I blacked out. . ."  
  
Snape looked so tired and worried that Harry felt for the man.  
  
"I'd better fetch Draco and have a word with him. . ."  
  
Harry nodded, and then whispered, "Don't be too strict with him, sir. He thought he was doing the right thing for himself."  
  
With a sharp nod and a swish of robes, Snape was gone.  
  
************************  
  
Malfoy emerged red-eyed from Snape's office at the end of the day. All potions lessons had been cancelled while Snape talked with Draco. He made his way to his chambers, and saw Harry sitting up in bed reading.  
  
"Hey Potter" he managed, with a shadow of his former sneer.  
  
"Malfoy" acknowledged Harry without looking up.  
  
"What are you reading, Potter? Nothing useful, I suppose."  
  
Harry smiled inwardly.  
  
"Transfiguring ferrets" he muttered, and then laughed as his friend took off in the other direction, squeaking.  
  
*************************  
  
Ten minutes later, Snape crawled through the portrait hole muttering something rude about bloody cheerful paintings. He was tired and worried about his two charges. He had a feeling that while Draco had now begun to understand that he was not a bad person just because of his father - 'Look at Dumbledore's family! Raving lunatics, the lot of them!' - Harry was still deeply depressed. He didn't eat or speak unless he had to. On occasions he managed a few moments of cheerfulness, but it never lasted. Every time, he lapsed into silence, answering in monosyllables whenever someone tried to talk to him.  
  
Snape had once invited McGonagall to see Harry. The conversation had been boring to put it mildly.  
  
"So, Mr Potter, how are you feeling?"  
  
"Fine thank you professor."  
  
Awkward pause.  
  
"Are you happy in Mr Malfoy's room?"  
  
"Yes thank you professor."  
  
The conversation had gone on like that for as long as McGonagall could think of opening lines. Eventually she had left, looking thoroughly fed up.  
  
Snape had only just heard the other day in the Staff Room (he didn't venture there much) that McGonagall, having heard of the Gryffindors nasty pranks on Harry, had sent the entire house out into the Forbidden Forest with Filch to collect nasty creatures which lived there, called Bang-ended Scoots. They were, apparently, of the same family of those blast-ended skrewts Hagrid had been using for his class last year, except they only had bangs, not stings or suckers. However, it had still been a horrible detention. McGonagall had also deducted 100 points from Gryffindor, effectively putting them out of the running for the House Cup.  
  
McGonagall loved her students like children, though she would never let them know it, and Snape had a feeling Gryffindor would be starting the next few years on negative points if the students weren't nice to Harry. It was quite a nice thought, really.  
  
*********************************  
  
Harry sighed as the blade sliced through his skin, soaking the sleeve of his robes with blood. This just wasn't working any more! He made another slice, hissing through his teeth at the pain, before he heard footsteps and quickly transfigured his blade back into a toothbrush.  
  
It was Snape. He thought. Though. . .everything was going slightly hazy. Using a hand gesture he had picked up from a book, he healed the cuts as well as he could and cleaned the blood from his robes. Snape was looking at his suspiciously, but said nothing. They stood in silence for a few moments before Snape turned his face away. To Harry's horror, there were tears in the black eyes.  
  
"I. . .I have bad news for you Harry. I think you should sit down. . ."  
  
  
  
  
  
**** Ok, ok, so it's short and ends on a cliffie, sue me. I'll update as soon as I can which might not be too soon, keep those reviews coming in people : ) **** 


	27. A New Start?

Harry looked at Snape, fear clouding his green eyes.  
  
"It's not Draco, please sir, don't let it be Draco"  
  
Snape shook his head.  
  
"I think. . .you should call me Severus."  
  
If anything, Harry looked even more scared.  
  
"Sir. . .Severus. . .what is it?"  
  
Snape sighed and took a chair opposite Harry's. This was not going to be fun.  
  
"The Ministry has decided to take matters into it's own hands, Harry. Fudge has. . .decided. . .that you are not safe at Hogwarts, especially not with an ex-Death Eater. I am afraid you have to go and stay with your Godfather."  
  
As he had expected Harry's face fell.  
  
"I'm sorry, Harry. Dumbledore and I fought for you to be allowed to stay here. But the Minister says that it is Black's decision, as he is your rightful guardian. And he has said he wants you to stay with him."  
  
Harry turned away, his face quickly covered by a mask of indifference.  
  
"Harry, please don't hate me. I don't want you to leave."  
  
"Okay" said Harry dully. Seeing Snape wasn't going anywhere, he got to his feet slightly shakily and walked out.  
  
************************************  
  
The next day, Harry was unhappily clutching a timed Portkey and wishing he didn't have to be going. He really liked Snape. The man gave him room to breathe and think.  
  
Suddenly, with a jerk, Harry and his suitcase lurched out of appearance. With a thud, he landed in Sirius' house.  
  
"Harry!" exclaimed Sirius, "How are you?"  
  
He embraced his godson warmly, releasing his a little when Harry flinched slightly.  
  
"I owe you a huge apology, Harry. I really don't know what came over me. It was just. . .the day we argued. . .I had just fought with Remus, and it would have been your father's birthday. Now, I know that doesn't excuse me at all. . .but I love you Harry. Can you forgive me?"  
  
Harry stared at him.  
  
"Do. . .do you mean that, Siri?"  
  
Sirius nodded fervently, and Harry flew at the animagus. Sirius wrapped his arms around James' tiny son, tears in his eyes.  
  
***********************************  
  
Remus watched the scene with tears in his eyes as well. He didn't think Harry would ever forgive him, though. He had been believing the lies that he had heard from Ron and Hermione, who had been told by that BASTARD Percy.  
  
Who would have thought that a Weasley child, the epitomes of tolerance, would have ever joined Lord Voldemort? But Percy was dead now, his soul sucked out. Percy, just like Lucius Malfoy, the Lestranges, and countless other Death Eaters, would never spread hurt and evil again.  
  
However, due to the stupidity of Cornelius Fudge, the Dementors were still roaming, hunting those who the ministry had deemed guilty of crimes. Thankfully, Sirius' trial was to be held the next day; then his best friend would be safe, and he would have time to try and make things better with Harry. Hopefully.  
  
*******************************  
  
Snape was marking papers when there was a tap at his door.  
  
"Who is it?" he snarled  
  
"Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger" came the nervous rely.  
  
Snape sighed loudly and paused a moment before reluctantly saying,  
  
"Come in."  
  
The two Gryffindors shuffled uneasily in front of him.  
  
"What?" he enunciated clearly and shortly.  
  
"I was. . ."  
  
"We were. . ."  
  
"Just think. . ."  
  
"Shut up! Now one at a time, if you please."  
  
Granger stepped forward resolutely.  
  
"Wewantoknowhereharryis" she gabbled.  
  
Snape simply raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Um. . .we want to know where Harry is. Please. Sir."  
  
Snape didn't look up.  
  
"He is with his Godfather. Now if that is all, please close the door behind you."  
  
"But. . .wouldn't he rather have stayed with you?"  
  
At this, Snape did look up, surprised. He hadn't thought they would have said that.  
  
"I don't know. It is none of my business. Good evening."  
  
With unhappy muttering, Hermione and Ron headed outside.  
  
******************************  
  
"He's got really close to Harry. I can see it; he's really upset about Harry having to stay with Sirius. Do you think I should research anything about misplaced affection in. . ."  
  
"The library is not going to help you here" said Ron with uncharacteristic seriousness. "This is between Harry and Snape."  
  
"Oh Ron. I just want him to be happy. We were so horrible."  
  
"Yeah. . .because of my brother" said Ron, his face darkening.  
  
Hermione put her arm around his shoulder.  
  
"It's not your fault, Ron. He was just a bastard. You have such a great family, with Charlie and Bill and Ginny and the twins. He was just a black sheep"  
  
Ron sighed deeply.  
  
"But, 'Mione, Harry funded them loads of money for the joke shop. They were meant to keep it quiet but George told me a few weeks ago."  
  
Hermione was silent for several minutes. Finally realising no words could help, she drew Ron into a tight hug.  
  
"We'll get him back, Ron. We will."  
  
*************************************  
  
Snape looked at Draco, who had just popped through the flames.  
  
"I miss him, Sev"  
  
"I know, Draco. But the Minister has the final say."  
  
"Yeah well, the minister is just a complete. . ."  
  
Snape cleared his throat and Draco fell silent.  
  
"Now listen to me Draco. I know you like him, he likes you, and you should be good friends. However, he is not here right now. There is no use in pining away for him. You have to just get back to normal, and he'll be here at the start of the next term. That's only 2 weeks. There is no point in fighting the Ministry, because you will never win."  
  
Draco sank into a chair looking deflated.  
  
"But Sev. . .I want him back!"  
  
Snape tried to ignore how childish Draco sounded.  
  
"2 weeks, Draco"  
  
"But I'll be so bored!"  
  
"Well, you could make a start on your Potions homework. . ."  
  
Draco had disappeared through the fire before Snape could blink. The Potions master smiled slightly and went back to his marking.  
  
****************************  
  
The next day Sirius and Harry were eating breakfast. Remus, unbeknown to them, was standing outside the door.  
  
"Where's Professor Lupin?" asked Harry through a mouthful of kipper.  
  
"I don't know. I suppose he's lying in."  
  
"He's. . .he's still cross with me, isn't he?"  
  
Lupin tensed. There was a moments pause and then Sirius spoke incredulously.  
  
"He hates himself for what he said! He was terrified that you would never talk to him again!"  
  
Harry was astonished.  
  
Remus was contemplating coming in when a click from the front door alerted him to someone entering.  
  
Suddenly he felt a chill rising in his heart.  
  
"Merlin, no, it can't be. . ." he whispered to himself.  
  
But it was true.  
  
They had come.  
  
  
  
  
  
*Bwahahaha another cliffie! I am so evil! But this one is longer. I want to make the next chapter really sad and moving.* 


	28. The Visitors

**A/N I have never ever tried to make a chapter upsetting but this time I am aiming to make people cry cos im evil. So tell me if I fail or if it sounds really corny. And I will write a happy Harry fanfic sometime soon, promise ( **  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The thoughtful silence between Sirius and Harry was broken with a huge bang as the door fell down.  
  
"What the. . ."  
  
"Merlin! No!"  
  
A huge group of Dementors had entered, gliding evilly towards Sirius. Harry's godfather was backing up against the wall, shaking and trembling as his best friend burst through the other door leading into the kitchen.  
  
"Expecto Patronum!" Yelled Harry and Remus at the same time. Two stags shot out of their respective wands, and Harry gazed in wonder at Remus.  
  
"You really loved him, Moony"  
  
As the two stags circled the Dementors, Lupin looked down at his best friend's son.  
  
"Yes, I did Harry. And I love you too. I want you to remember that."  
  
Harry's eyes filled with tears.  
  
"Thanks, Moony" he said softly.  
  
Meanwhile one of the Dementors moved to the front of the crowd and simply brushed the patronuses out of the way. Lupin's eyes widened in shock, and he said softly,  
  
"They can't do that! No Dementor could break a patronus. . ."  
  
Meanwhile they were moving closer to Sirius, who curled up in a foetal position.  
  
"No. . .James. . .Harry. . .I'm sorry. . .it's all my fault, I should have saved you. . .I didn't mean to. . .I'm sorry, so sorry. . ."  
  
"Expecto Patronum!" Yelled Harry again, but the shadowy stag had no effect on Voldemort's dark creatures, except for annoying them. They moved closer to Sirius, and Harry fired off another ineffective Patronus. Then Lupin sprang forwards towards his friend.  
  
"Padfoot! Hold on!"  
  
But it was too late. A Dementor pulled off it's hood and lowered it's mouth to Sirius, who was screaming and gagging. As Lupin frantically tried to pull Sirius away from the Dementors, one cast a wandless disarming spell which sent Lupin flying into Harry. Then, a chill settled over the whole room, and the Dementor carelessly dropped Sirius' limp body. Harry's godfather stared dully at the ceiling, ignoring the milling Dementors and screaming wizards.  
  
And then Lupin did something stupid. He raised his wand, eyes blazing with fury, and bellowed  
  
"Retragto"  
  
Several Dementors fell to the floor, shrieking in agony. Harry gazed, horrified at Lupin. He had just cast the Darkest Magic that Harry had ever seen. This was worse than. . .even worse than the Cruciatus. There were no words for magic that could hurt creatures with no feelings or emotions. Where the hell had Lupin learnt that?  
  
Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion as a Dementor approached Harry, who was inadvertently cowering behind Lupin. Suddenly his head filled with more sounds than he had ever heard before. His mother screaming, his uncle shouting, Voldemort hissing, the rush of wind through his ears as he had jumped from the tower.  
  
The sounds rose in a crescendo until Harry began to scream, louder and louder, his mind blank. And then, suddenly, silence, and the rustle of a Dementor moving towards Lupin, bending, as they al concentrated, and Harry suddenly realised one was clutching his wand. These Dementors were hybrids; no normal one was that clever. They were evil, and Harry suddenly realised he would die screaming for mercy at the hands of Voldemort's creatures, as his parents had died for him at the hand of Voldemort.  
  
"No!" he shouted, and the world became clearer. He felt his whole body shake with fury and hatred for Voldemort and these Dementors he had modified. Mustering up every ounce of magic he could feel, he threw out his hands and again cast the Patronus, without his wand.  
  
The stag that appeared this time was much more solid. It was black instead of white and charged towards the Dementors, goring one of them and ripping a chunk out of another's face. They all stepped back, in horror, but they had nowhere to hide. Harry's legs felt like lead as he watched them all die with screams of pain.  
  
When the last one had crumpled with a final shriek of pain he suddenly leapt to his feet, trying to stop his legs from buckling, and raced to the pile of dark robes. Throwing them to the side, he found the lighter robes Lupin was wearing after what seemed like an eternity.  
  
"Moony? Moony! Moony, no, please Moony, come back!"  
  
Tears rolled down his face as he screamed his friends name into the growing darkness.  
  
"Remus! Siri! Padfoot! Moony! Don't leave me all alone, please, don't leave me! I love you, both of you. Please. . .please, come back. . ."  
  
He screamed until his voice was gone, and then whispered, and finally fell silent, in the charred ruins of what had almost been his new home, clutching the soulless bodies of Sirius Black and Remus Lupin to him as though he would never let go of them.  
  
The Dementors had wrecked the house; the windows were broken and outside the wind howled ferociously. The walls were charred, several paintings and pictures burnt to a crisp. The tang of Dark Magic was still in the house, causing Harry's throat to tighten in horror. He had produced an evil patronus - what the hell did that make him? How had he managed to corrupt the only spell made of pure love into something dark?  
  
Burying his head in his lifeless godfather's robes, he began to sob again, hoping that somehow it would bring him back to life. As a child, looking through the crack in the living room door, he had watched films where people thought to be dead would suddenly wake up, and they would live happily ever after. But deep down, he knew that wouldn't happen.  
  
Suddenly cold inside, Harry edged away from Sirius' blank face and wrapped his tattered robes around him. Night had fallen on the little cottage now, and the night was so cloudy that no stars could be seen.  
  
Slowly rising to his feet, he moved outside, sinking down against the cracked and splintered door and taking a huge breath of fresh air.  
  
'Could I have saved them?' he asked himself, aloud.  
  
'I conjured the Patronus with the anger that Siri's kiss gave me. . .but why didn't I think of my parents? Why couldn't I have saved them both?'  
  
He didn't care that his voice had turned into a whine, or that he was cold, and this throat and eyes ached from crying. He didn't care that he hadn't eaten for nearly three days, or that he was all alone in a house where two strong and brave wizards had been brutally murdered. He didn't care about anything, until a light breeze blew a scrap of paper into his hands.  
  
It was a photograph of his parents, one corner burnt and blackened. They were holding hands, with Sirius and Remus on either side of them, all four laughing and waving at the camera. And then, Harry didn't even care that he must be holding the work of Peter Pettigrew, as he wasn't in the picture.  
  
********************************************  
  
Draco looked imploringly at Snape, who had made him do some Potions work to stop him whinging.  
  
"Sev. . .can't I see Harry. . .just floo over for a few minutes?"  
  
Snape shook his head absently.  
  
"Hogwarts isn't connected to the floo network"  
  
"Yes it is"  
  
Snape sighed.  
  
"The reason I don't want you to go is that Harry and his godfather need to make up. That will probably involve spending large amounts of time together to form a bond, and if you're flooing over there every 10 minutes they won't be able to get any sort of bond except one of mutual annoyance of you!"  
  
Draco huffed, but still looked imploringly.  
  
"Just to check if he's alright? For 5 minutes. . .and then I won't go again. Except to wish him Happy Christmas"  
  
"Oh okay then. Merlin you whinge!"  
  
Draco grinned impishly and threw some powder into the fireplace, calling the name of 'Black Manor' and disappearing with a pop.  
  
************************************  
  
Ten seconds later his head appeared, ashen faced.  
  
"Severus, you have to come, NOW!"  
  
Quickly getting up and wondering what on earth had happened now, Snape flooed over to Black's house. The sight he saw made him gasp in horror.  
  
The picturesque house was charred and smelled of pain and fear. Just like. . .  
  
"Dementors"  
  
"I'll say" agreed Draco, still looking shaky. "There are a load of them dead in the kitchen"  
  
Snape hurried through and looked in stunned disgust at the mound of Dementors. They were all wearing black robes except for two. . .  
  
"Oh no" he whispered, stepping over Dementors to reach the lifeless bodies of Lupin and Black.  
  
"Harry!" yelled Draco, looking terrified and nauseated. Belatedly, Snape realised Draco had probably never seen anyone who's been Kissed before.  
  
"Go and look for him" said Snape, making some pretence of checking the two men.  
  
About a minute later, Snape heard Draco call out "I've found him!"  
  
Snape rushed in, to see Draco carrying Harry, tears running down the Slytherin's face. He bowed his head in sorrow and pushed Harry's hair away.  
  
As he did, Harry stirred and opened his eyes, almost giving them both a heart attack.  
  
"They died, Sev" he whispered, his eyes red and swollen. "Why couldn't I have protected them? Why does everyone have to die?"  
  
Snape looked sharply at Draco. "Go back to my rooms. I'll be there right away."  
  
Draco nodded and flooed back.  
  
Snape looked at Harry and spoke in a low and deadly voice.  
  
"None of this is your fault, Harry. NONE of it. Never talk like that!"  
  
Then his face softened and he said in a more gentle tone,  
  
"Come on, Harry. Lets go home. . ."  
  
But Harry was already asleep in Snape's arms. 


	29. The AfterMath

Harry slept through the floo journey soundly, curled up in Snape's arms. Draco was standing looking very worried in the middle of Snape's rooms when they arrived about 10 seconds after Draco. Wordlessly Snape laid Harry on a bed, tucking the sheets over him, and flooed out.  
  
He went back to Black's cottage and got rid of all the Dementors with a simple transformation spell. Then, knowing this was something he should have done a long time ago, he knelt beside Sirius' body and picked up the other man's hand.  
  
"I am sorry, Sirius. I'm sorry for the way I have treated you, and for the way I have allowed a childhood grudge to overtake my senses. I'm sorry that I couldn't have found the courage to say it earlier." Snape paused, eyes glistening slightly in the moonlight where the clouds were parting.  
  
"But I'm still pissed off about the whole pushing-me-into-the-passage-with- a-werewolf-thing!" He exclaimed.  
  
"No, seriously, I wish we could have at least been civil to each other, if only for Harry's sake. He's lost everything now, you know. You were the closest thing he had to parents, and I always seem to get involved. I wish you and Remus and James could forgive me for the things I've said to you all and Harry in the past.  
  
I would love to think that with Voldemort's fall we will lose evil. I know that's not going to happen; the most we can hope for is a brief period of peace. But. . .isn't that worth praying for?"  
  
He got to his knees, and put Sirius' wand back in his hand, crossing the mans arms over his chest, then did the same for Lupin. He called the Aurors and Dumbledore, and spoke his final words to Sirius and Remus; the ones he had held such animosity towards before.  
  
"I am sorry."  
  
****************************  
  
As soon as the officials were at the scene he returned to his rooms to find Draco sitting with Harry.  
  
"I gave him a Sleeping Draught, Draco. He won't wake for some time."  
  
Draco nodded, looking slightly relieved.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
Snape shrugged.  
  
"I've called Dumbledore and some Aurors, they'll look at the wands and the magical alarms on the house and try to piece together what happened. They will also want to talk to Harry at some stage. . ."  
  
Draco nodded. He still looked pale and shaky.  
  
"Draco, what's wrong?" asked Snape.  
  
The blond boy shrugged, and then fell into an elegant faint at Snape's feet.  
  
Suddenly Snape realised just how strong Harry was. He quickly summoned some chocolate from the kitchens and evervated Draco to feed it to him, then had some for himself. Of course, the Dementor's souls had been floating around the house since whenever it had happened, so the afterglow of the bad memories they induced would be affecting Draco as normal.  
  
"Come on, Draco. You need to get some sleep now. It's been a terrible day."  
  
Draco nodded, already half asleep in Snape's arms. The Potions Master found himself wondering where these boys had found their trust for him, but decided that was for another day's thoughts. He absently carried Draco to his own bed, and realised that he, Snape, had nowhere to sleep as Harry was in his bed. Oh well; he could sleep tomorrow.  
  
He sat gently on the bed next to Harry, softly stroking his hair.  
  
At some stage Harry started to have nightmares, and Snape dimly remembered holding the frail body, before the boy went limp and the potions master fell asleep.  
  
**********************  
  
He woke up feeling as though he had slept properly for the first time in too many years. Looking at the boy in his arms he allowed himself to smile, but the happiness faded from his face as he remembered the events of the previous night.  
  
"It's ok, Sev" said Harry, making the teacher jump, having not realised Harry was awake. "I. . .I remember everything."  
  
"How long have you been awake?"  
  
"about 3 hours. You know, Remus died saving his best friend. How many people can say they would do that, truthfully?"  
  
Snape considered the boy. Under any other circumstances he would say 'none' and have done with it. But then again, under any other circumstances he would have sent the boy to his own room with 20 points deducted from Gryffindor. And he certainly wouldn't have allowed the boy to sleep on his lap. Honestly, what must that have looked like?  
  
"I doubt many people would be foolish enough to make such a rash promise. It is a thing harder to do with foresight. With the utmost respect to Remus' memory, he probably acted without thinking. That does not make him any less of a hero. I'm just trying to give you a truthful answer."  
  
Harry nodded slowly.  
  
"That's what I thought, too. But then I remembered what he said; just before we cast our Patronuses. He told me he loved me; so he must have had some idea what would happen, mustn't he?"  
  
Snape thought again. He couldn't stop the melancholy thought that nobody, possibly save Albus, who would do the same for anyone except Voldemort, would rescue (or try to rescue) him in such a situation.  
  
"Yes. Honestly, that surprises me. He was a very brave man. So was your godfather; though perhaps a little more foolish than brave at times. . ."  
  
Snape clapped a hand over his mouth in horror, but Harry just laughed.  
  
"I know. He was a great man, but a complete idiot. But aren't we all?"  
  
Snape nodded, wondering when Harry had become so wise.  
  
"Enough of the deep philosophy, Harry. You need some sleep."  
  
"But I. . ."  
  
"Shh. . .I know. I'm just going to get a sleeping draught."  
  
"Thanks, Sev."  
  
". . ."  
  
"It would help infinitely if you would get off my lap first. . ."  
  
"Oh! Right!"  
  
******************************  
  
When Snape came back, he saw that Harry had been crying.  
  
"Harry!" he said sharply, worried that Harry was ill.  
  
The boy flinched away without meaning to, and Snape felt a lump in his throat.  
  
"I didn't think to ask you. . .did the Dementors hurt you?"  
  
Harry was silent, trying to hold back his tears. Snape realised he had probably upset the boy even more by talking about the Dementors.  
  
"I didn't get close enough. I should have helped them." He said softly, then "God damn it I defeated Voldemort, why couldn't I save my godfather?"  
  
A mirror shattered, the pieces disintegrating in front of Snape's eyes. Harry fell limply against the older wizard, feeling the strength drain out of him from the magic he had just done. Snape absently stroked Harry's hair, and raised the vial to the boy's lips. Harry didn't resist, and the last of the tension from his shoulders vanished as sleep claimed him.  
  
***********************************************  
  
Ok there you go. I'm going to start a new fanfic soon, maybe Harry and Sev random slash, maybe another one like this. I think I'll write maybe one more chapter of this and then wrap it up. Any requests for the ending?  
  
Sorry it's been so long coming and is so short. I have a french oral tomorrow and it's occurred to me that I CAN'T ACTUALLY SPEAK FRENCH!!!!!! So I've been doing a LOT of revising.  
  
Once again, keep the reviews coming in. And thanx for not flaming me :-D 


	30. Happily Ever After

*Sev Speech* Draco speech (you'll see why soon)  
  
  
  
Draco stood in the doorway watching the tableau. Harry looked shattered, and Snape looked concerned. As Harry relaxed so did Severus and he gently laid Harry on the sofa, leaving the room as quietly as he could. He didn't look up, but knew Draco was there.  
  
"Do you want to talk?"  
  
They both said at the same time, and their mouths lifted up into simultaneous nervous grins.  
  
Draco sighed and rubbed his temples.  
  
I used to lie at night sometimes, and wonder if I'd lost my soul whispered Draco.  
  
*Sometimes I knew I had. But Albus wouldn't let me go. He caught me every time I fell*  
  
I used to wish I had power  
  
*Voldemort used to tell us that there was only power and those too weak to use it.*  
  
I believed my blood ran black from the Mark to my very heart  
  
*Blood runs red, until you are truly dead*  
  
To the well educated mind, death is the next great adventure.  
  
*But there are too many adventures to be had in this life, before you start to contemplate the next one.*  
  
Draco moved towards Snape slightly uncertainly, and Snape realised the boy had probably never given anyone a hug before. He moved closer, encircling his arms around the Slytherin, and felt Draco's small body shaking with sobs.  
  
"It's ok, Draco, it's ok. Everything's going to be fine now" Snape whispered with small variations, until Draco's sobbing subsided into soft hiccups.  
  
"Promise?"  
  
"I promise"  
  
Draco pulled away surprised.  
  
"Slytherins never promise!"  
  
"My Slytherin genes are on holiday" whispered Snape, so quietly that Draco wasn't even sure if he'd heard it.  
  
************************************  
  
When the next term started, Harry and Draco became firm friends. Harry was never as close with Hermione or any of the Weasleys as he had been before but they all got on with Draco. This, coupled with the lack of young Death Eaters, led to the breaking down of houses, until House Points were abolished and Houses only played each other at Quidditch and had lessons together, rather than constantly competing.  
  
Wormtail was caught and given the Dementors Kiss, and Remus and Sirius were officially honoured and granted the Order of Merlin 2nd Class posthumously.  
  
Without the threat of Voldemort, Snape could take the two boys into his care, and they both excelled at their studies and social lives under him. Snape also began teaching properly, as he didn't have to discriminate between students for Voldemort's sake.  
  
And the Dursleys? One dark Halloween night, Professors Snape, McGonagall and Flitwick crept into no.4 Privet Drive and transfigured the Dursleys into plastic animals. They were declared missing, but the only remains the police could find were three mysterious, bright pink flamingos standing on the wall.  
  
And of course, Narcissa Malfoy met the same nasty end as her husband.  
  
After school Harry became the English seeker, helping the team win the World Cup 3 years in a row with spectacular catches. Draco took over the DADA place from Arabella Figg who had decided to leave Hogwarts for the warmer temperatures of Beauxbatons (and also to improve her french) and spent many pleasant lessons teaching the pupils about Grindylows and Cornish Pixies whilst telling them all about the War against Voldemort to prepare them for the next spell of darkness.  
  
And so, amazing as it may seem, they all lived happily ever after, until the end of their days.  
  
***************** FIN ********************  
  
  
  
WELL?? What did you think? I'm so proud, I actually finished it! If you are American/any nationality except English please read my next very short passage about 'english-isms' and keep sending me suggestions about what to write next. 


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